#usually i dont need content warnings on things because im fine with everything but the ep with kendalls 40th birthday came close

[currentlyonstandbi]

.

[shenrickyz]

MACHI

WELL maybe they've always been weird.. jeno guesses that's pretty rich now.

FEATURING ─ fhk, ljn, nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ─ mentions of death, mistreatment, emotional abuse, denial of feelings, overuse of the word "weird", this goes backwards in time until the last scene. WORD COUNT ─ 6.2k NOTES ─ well well well! hello!! third jenhii work ever, oh i missed these homos, i feel like i havent been able to write in WEEKS and i started this to explain confusion because i mentioned that they kissed then i never elaborated on that 👍 anyway, two posts in one day is crazy.. but this has been in the drafts for almost two weeks soooo yeah, last scene is terrible dont read it!! (especially not @ jj because it might anger you) i feel terrible and im upset cause i might miss the marathon tmrw 😖 praying this cold is cured quickly 😞

jeno has a hunch for something, something that involves hikari.

and he can't explain it, but there's something happening, he feels something. maybe it's in the smile, his smile has always been pretty, a display of love that he wishes he could simply gatekeep from the rest of the world.

there's something about him, there it is, it isn't exactly the feeling in the air, it's how hikari makes him feel in his entirety.

jeno is completely unfocused, a muffled sound nearby, maybe it was chenle's endless chatter, a staff's phone ringing, mark's iphone, but jeno could care less. there's a tug at his hand, and he gets pulled away by someone, nothing but hikari on his mind.

he wonders if hikari can feel it too. he doesn't really think it matters, he'll never release it verbally, he will only ever show it through the actions he performs, he has no doubt about that.

but it's not like that matters anyway, because in one way or another, hikari will always be there.

(which if he thinks about it, he doesn't mind that too much).

—

it gets weird after jakarta.

which, in all honesty, is pretty expected. it's always just when things seem to be moving forward in hikari's life that something happens. he feels content with his place in the group, mikito has left him alone, he's grieving better, everything is fine.

everything was fine.

and maybe it's all jeno's fault, he initiated it, but if you were in such a position, could you help yourself?

friends don't kiss, it's the most abnormal thing a pair of two completely platonic best friends could do.

now hikari and jeno have never had a 'normal' friendship, maybe the affection is was much too sickly at times, but they never got to the point of kissing.

so yeah, they kissed and now their weird, weirder than usual. hikari's constant avoidance is the usual tactic, shifting eyes and scooting away is simply.. not subtle, but he isn't exactly trying to be.

hikari is just the slightest bit irritated, but if he is, he doesn't make it clear.

but that's how most things are with hikari, they're simply implied, not said.

thailand is next, and by the time the first show rolls around, the avoidance becomes much more natural.

so natural that it's strange, and not strange in the usual way hikari and jeno are.

and jeno can't handle it, it's clear that he can't either.

"hey".

hikari's eyes flitter upward, his hands beginning to fiddle at the jewelry which decorates his fingers. jeno had successfully cornered him against the wall, how amusing. he can't help his smile. "yes?"

"..are we good?" jeno can't find his voice, he instead whispers, the shouting of fans rendered useless to him.

hikari's smile reaches his eyes, it's almost too reassuring. his gaze softens, face scrunching as he removes his earpiece to be met with noise of the crowd. "yeah".

"you sure?" he simply needs reassurance, it's better to get that immediately than just walk on with no new words. hikari gives a chuckle, and jeno's bottom lip juts out. "i just need to know".

"yes jeno i'm sure" hikari replies, smoothing over his outfit with sweaty palms. "i was just.. thinking about it, don't worry, okay?"

so they won't talk about it. they aren't going to talk about kissing, they aren't going to talk about why it was reciprocated, they just won't.

hikari reaches downward to intertwine their fingers, an act of affection that's more of a silent agreement. "did you think i was mad at you?"

jeno's head tips down. "kinda".

not kinda, he really was afraid he'd just ruined his relationship with one of his groupmates forever.

and really, breaking his bond with hikari would've been one of jeno's biggest mistakes ever.

"wasn't mad, just surprised".

sometimes, jeno feels that hikari's too easygoing.

and it seems he can read his thoughts, because his hands squeeze in a show of inhumane strength. "don't worry about it".

unfortunately, jeno will just continue to worry, because what else can he do in a situation like this?

when hikari's fingers slip from his, there's an emptiness there, and maybe his smile is nice, yes, but there's still worry fizzling into the air.

okay, jeno's fibbing just a bit, it was weird even before jakarta, a month prior in osaka, it could've been considered weird.

it's not as strange as kissing your groupmate whilst on tour per say, but it still could be considered pretty.. not platonic-friend-like.

it's simply waking-up-your-groupmate-at-midnight-for-convenience-store-snacks weird, which isn't something jeno is exactly against.

"psst, jeno!"

jeno is usually a heavy sleeper, but again, hikari possesses some inhumane strength, because he quickly shakes him out of the slumber with little to no difficulty. "what? what happened? is the hotel on fire?"

jeno's syllables stick together, his words molding into something barely eligible. renjun stays fast asleep in his bed, completely oblivious. hikari's hands stay shoved in his pockets, his tongue sliding across his teeth. "i can't sleep.." he whispers in the lamp lit room, and jeno nods against the soft material of his pillow.

he hums, hand falling over his eyes, just barely blocking hikari from his view. the insomnia has simply become a norm for the older, jeno isn't even surprised. "sorry" he laughs, and hikari's breaths were short replies.

"do you wanna go to the convenience store?"

jeno cracks his left eye open, suddenly intrigued by the mention of the convenience store. his eyebrow raises, and hikari smiles once more. "at this time?"

"i wanna show you my favorite snacks".

courtesy of his bright convenience store knowledge, that's what hikari calls it anyway, jeno isn't really sure how it works. just the mere mention of convenience stores now makes jeno feel hungry, and snacks, really? well how does hikari expect for jeno to be able to turn that one down?

"are you sure?"

"well i'm paying".

jeno rises from his place in an amusing sense, drawing a short chuckle from the older. "in that case.."

hikari's eyebrow raise is one of offense, and jeno just barely snickers at the fact. "i'm joking.. swear!"

his eyes widen when the older slaps a hand over his mouth, his pointer finger motioning over to a still snoring renjun. "put on a heavy sweater, it's cold outside".

and in just a few minutes, the two were somehow able to escape hotel confines without being seen, hands naturally finding each other's once again.

"you really couldn't show me snacks in the morning?"

"we're only in japan for like.. two more days? might as well do this now".

"you ran out of melatonin" jeno mutters, face scrunching at the bright lights of the upcoming convenience store.

the accusation gets a momentary glare, but the older doesn't decide to argue with that one. it isn't even wrong, it's completely true.

jeno will just let hikari do all the talking, he's much too afraid of butchering words, so when hikari greets the cashier, he simply nods in fervor like a mind controlled robot.

"how are we supposed to hide these?"

hikari uncharacteristically snorts, staring down a particularly sweet pocky flavor. "you think we're gonna hide them?"

jeno's shrug is pretty undefined in itself. "how are we supposed to explain this? oh mark hyung we woke up at midnight to go get cookies and cream pocky! it was for a good cause!"

hikari's laughter is hidden behind his mountains of feigned solemnity. he opts to leave that one unanswered. "what do you want?"

jeno's lips press into a thin line. "i don't really know what any of these are.."

"well just choose something that looks appealing, i'll pay".

jeno's eyes dazzle immediately. "aww, are you treating me? this is like a date, right? it's all on you?"

the upturn of his lips is simply.. satisfying. "you were just complaining about mark hyung catching us".

"but you're paying!"

hikari squeezes jeno's lips shut, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "hush, or i'm not getting you anything".

jeno's lips remained turned downward, just a little bummed out that their 'date' was ruined.

yeah, that's what it was, a date.

at this rate, jeno should probably be considered the worlds most consistent liar, because it's always been weird.

and weird in the sense that it all lingered for too long. the stares, the touch of hands, the hugs, the snickers. maybe once it was all normal, completely platonic with no sign of feelings in sight, but now?

it's just strange to say in your own head, what do you mean you might harbor something else for your groupmate? it's like over analyzing things, who just randomly has that thought one day? no normal person does, that's for sure.

and the thing with jeno is, he needs actual evidence. maybe see hikari's cheeks go red or something. hikari is naturally like that. he naturally looks after everyone with the prettiest smiles painted on his face, he naturally nags the members when they go without eating, it's a core part of who he is.

so it doesn't mean anything really, jeno can't exactly pout when hikari gives the other members attention, because that's just how he is.

it's never in the reverse order though.

"hiki hyung is not coming to practice today!"

the repetitive instrumental of candy paused as seojun strolls into the room with his shoes screeching loudly behind him, his arms folded over his chest. the rest of the members begin their murmurs immediately, mark chiming in from his place in the center; "is he okay?"

"he's sick, all cold symptoms!" the elder of the 02s waves his arms back and forth, clearing his throat.

"and he willingly decided to stay home?"

"he didn't" renjun buts in, ending up right beside seojun as the younger vigorously nods in agreement. "we literally had to trap him in his room, he was about to cough up his lungs and still saying that he was fine".

the scowl is nothing real, that's just a regular stubborn hikari action. jeno can't even recall how many times the older seemed on his last leg and still forced himself through practice, it's also a core part of his personality, gently gaslighting himself into thinking everything is fine.

'fine' is his buzzword, jeno's face scrunches whenever he hears it fall from his lips. it's become grating for him to even hear, just hearing renjun mimic his voice made his shoulders raise uncomfortably.

jaemin taps jeno's shoulder when he notices him disassociating, and jeno jumps at the touch. "you okay?"

jeno nods silently.

jaemin snickers, practically reading his mind. "he'll be fine".

jeno grimaces. "don't say that word".

jaemin's nudge is an affectionate gesture, his smile soft. "he won't die, okay? i know you miss him and all".

well jaemin knows best jeno guesses (somehow, he always seems to know).

seojun gets to his mission at trying to get a punch from chenle.. which means irritating him to the point that he runs away from the older and uses jisung as his shield. jeno can just barely laugh at his shenanigans, donghyuck makes a joke that doesn't land well and renjun scoffs, mark tells them to get out of it so they can continue practice.

but jeno doesn't exactly focus during practice. the dance is fine, hikari is simply the main thing on his mind. the fact that he was actually able to get convinced by someone to stay home is a revelation, he loathes missing practice, the perfectionist tendencies get to him so often that he would skip hospital visits to make sure he wouldn't miss practice.

so when jeno knocks on hikari's door later that evening, he doesn't exactly expect an answer.

he peaks his head in through the door, his lips unconsciously turning up at the sight of hikari's room. he simply loves how the air of it feels.

a short groan resounds from under a pile of blankets that hide some sort of.. figure in the middle of hikari's bed.

jeno scratches his cheek, silently giggling. "are you alive?"

in a stark movement, he throws the pile of blankets once settled on top of him, off of him, sucking his teeth as he covers his face with his hands. "i hate winter comebacks.."

jeno's pout is for the sake of hikari, who looks pretty terrible. his reddened skin stands out in stark contrast to his lighter complexion, jeno clears his throat, and the older presents his best smile, full of all the fatigue reminiscent of his own eye bags.

jeno steps in without any more words, closing the door of the room with his foot. "chicken noodle soup?"

hikari's laughter is sweet, even with the uncomfortable rasp of his voice. his eyes flitter up when jeno sits at the edge of his bed, his smile is too pretty. "did you make this?"

jeno's smile drops immediately, lips downturned. "no, jaeminie did, but! but! i was there on standby just in case something went wrong and the food started burning".

the suck of hikari's teeth proves to jeno that his half half half-truth was mostly bogus. "you barely turn on the oven, jeno".

"okay but i was still there! and besides, your sick, who better to bring you soup than me? your favorite person in the whole entire universe?"

"that one can be debated".

jeno's expression of defeat is simply priceless, and his pout is reminiscent of a sulking child. "don't deny it, you love me".

"i can love you without you being my favorite person in the whole entire universe".

"i could be though".

hikari simply sighs, staring down at the soup with clear indifference. "not sure if i can eat.."

"you have to".

hikari lightly scoffs. "i know".

it sits idly in jeno's lap, and when hikari reaches over to take it, their hands simply grace each others. jeno watches the movement, shaking himself out of it quickly when the older sighs.

"give jaemin my thank you's".

the words are mundane, but there's something else up, something on his mind that jeno can sense with a little whisper behind his ears. "if you need to take more time you can".

hikari stares, as if offended by such a suggestion. "i can't sit out of candy, i was already gone for.. like the whole year already? i missed the first days of the tour.. i'm out of hiatus months".

it's meant to be amused, but his tone of voice indicates that he probably believes them. jeno bites his cheek. "you had a family emergency".

he begins stirring with the spoon he barely even grasps. "they gave me four months, i took seven, and they clearly punished me for that one".

"grief doesn't just go away after a few months, you need to take it easy".

in a strange moment, hikari smiles, laughing at himself. "i need to be more present now, this cold isn't the end of the world".

but the comeback is next week.

jeno keeps his mouth shut. he seems to anticipate the next words, because he cuts him off instantly: "i'll be okay, alright? you know i will".

"do i?"

hikari narrows his eyes. "yes".

hikari seems to simply get the constant need for reassurance jeno possesses, hikari seems to simply get jeno as a whole.

it's simply nice to have a person like that.

hikari moves backward when jeno tries to get closer. "no hugs, i might kill you".

jeno tilts his head. "i'm invincible".

"yeah, but your hugs are like.. deadly".

now it's jeno turn to raise his eyebrows. "that's not true!"

"it is, you hug everyone like it's their last day on your earth" hikari can't help his smile as he touches on such a thing. "your affection is so.. aggressive".

"but it's nice aggression".

"i'm weak, jeno".

hikari again laughs at his own words, averting his eyes from jeno's face as to not fall victim to the puppy eye attack. "thank you, even though you didn't make any of the soup at all, i appreciate you".

well maybe jeno should just fall over then, he's so sweet, fuck the cold, jeno hopes it dies.

okay, too aggressive? maybe he should tone it down.

"it's nothing, rest okay, eight hours!"

hikari sucks his teeth again, and jeno gives him a look, causing for him to immediately soften. "fine, eight hours".

usually, the word 'fine' would make jeno scrunch up in discomfort. it's possibly one of the worst words hikari could ever use on a daily basis, but in this context, it's simply.. comforting. "you better, i'll be watching".

hikari's smile again reaches his eyes. it's a very pretty smile, jeno wants to see it all the time, it's simply better this way.

"okay".

"i'm your favorite person in the whole entire universe!"

and that was just a cheap shot, if only to get a laugh, but to also get another pretty smile.

is it really lying it jeno only realized that they've always been weird after the kiss? is it really jeno's fault for seeing everything differently after his actions?

well, no, he doesn't really think so.

right before glitch mode, hikari receives terrible news, news that fucks him up in a way none of the members have exactly seen before.

glitch mode is hikari's favorite project of the groups so far, he got to participate much more than he did in the past, he got much more singing time, he was just.. pleased with how everything was going.

but of course, nothing can ever really go his way.

retreating back into himself is easy, it's easy to do when your in a whole other country and have no idea how to healthily grieve.

four days, four days until glitch mode releases, and he's only just shrunk down even more. he's always been pretty quiet, but he pretty much hides from the members with his plastic smile.

and really, they all know what's going to happen.

jeno usually doesn't get sleepless often, but the strings of fate make him lurch up in his bed and begin stretching his arms.

he settles for a few moments, staring square at his blank wall.

then, he smells it.

ramen.

ramen, carbonara flavored ramen, at two in the morning.

and really, there's only one person who can be awake at this time. jeno would guess seojun if it was a regular day, but the other fell asleep with jisung in his room, so he's off the table. jaemin sleeps forever, and so does renjun, which means..

jeno isn't surprised when he shuffles into the kitchen and finds hikari right there.

hikari doesn't register him at first, playing with his chopsticks. jeno rubs his eyes, and the older finally glances up at him.

jeno's sigh is laced with humor. "ramen at two am?"

unfortunately for him, hikari doesn't laugh, simply gazes at his ramen with the head resting on his chest. "it's my coping mechanism".

jeno can see the red of his eyes, and his face drops a little too quickly. hikari just stares at the ramen before him, disassociating immediately. he's clearly very tired, jeno feels as if he's slowly slipping.

"you.. you haven't been sleeping right?"

"who cares?" he waves his chopsticks dismissively in the air. his chewing is silent, and his eyes attempt to flutter closed, but he keeps shaking himself awake. "sleep is useless".

jeno swallows down nothing, simply staring at the older. this is simply a little terrifying, hikari's eyes hold nothing, jeno tries to make out some emotion there, but he sees absolutely nothing. "are you okay?"

hikari's eye twitches, and he uncharacteristically smiles. "i like this color on you".

can't you just answer my question?

"hikari—"

"pink is nice" his words are a little muffled, but he makes it clear with the way he gazes. now there's seems to be something there, a deep affection that he only stares at jeno with. "you should go blonde next".

jeno clasps his hands together onto the table. "i guess i'll take that advice.."

hikari bites into his cheek, taking in a deep sigh. he stays stuck for a moment, silence cutting so deep he may as well fall over currently. he rubs his eyes, humming. "i don't know if i should cry or not".

jeno's frown is permanent, he urges for the older to continue, and he watches the way hikari bats his lashes. "i was given four months, i need to make sure my mom is okay, yuto, manami, god i hate my dad but—" he covers his face with his hands. "wish i could turn back time or something.."

"is four months enough for you?"

his shrug is full of nothing, and he rolls his eyes. "don't know, going home is.. difficult" he smooths his fingers over his rings, eyes again flitting upward to look over at jeno. "i don't want to miss promotions but i probably wouldn't get through them anyway".

"i'll go to the airport with you".

hikari's chuckle is breathless, even when he laughs he looks breathtaking. he's tired, yet he still finds the reply cute. "it's cause you'll miss me so much right?"

jeno nods so quickly that he's afraid it might fall off. hikari snickers as he ruffles his hair, tease on the tip of his tongue. "of course, you're just trying to flatter me".

jeno practically leans into his hand, the feeling is comfortable. "flattery looks nice on you" he mumbles, glancing up at him with eyes simply full of devotion. "sucks you have to leave now, i know you really like this album".

hikari simply sighs. "i'll watch your fancams to support you" he slides the plate of ramen closer to both of them. when he earns an incredulous look from jeno, he snorts, looking down at the floor.

"just mine?"

he decides to leave that one unanswered.

jeno leans onto the older, eyes closing, cheeks tinted a pink color. hikari's fingers stay busy in his hair, but he isn't exactly all relaxed. "you didn't answer my question.."

he looks up expectantly, but the other simply stares ahead. "no, i'm not okay".

jeno gazes up. was that honesty? his smile drops, but the older again chuckles. "loss is normal, i'll get through it, alright?"

jeno doesn't answer, simply nods. hikari raises an eyebrow, and he smooths a thumb over jeno's cheek. "when are you leaving?"

"the twenty sixth".

oh.. well that's two days away, jeno forgot about that one. his teeth sink into his bottom lip. "you need a break".

hikari doesn't seem to agree with that, but he doesn't argue. "you have to go to sleep".

he stops touching jeno, and the younger feigns normalcy, even if he misses the feeling of the older running his fingers through his hair. his gaze stills, and he clears his throat. "i can wait for you".

"it's two twenty four".

jeno blinks, then smiles a wide smile. "i don't care".

and hikari snickers again, hiding his face behind his eyes.

—

busy airports would usually bother jeno if not for the reason he was here.

xuwicha nags hikari like the motherly figure he is, his nature reminiscent of how hikari acts towards the dream members, and zixin almost kills him with the tightness of his hug. hikari almost cries.. twice, he has to take constant deep breaths to hold back the tears, but zixin bursts into tears, having to be dragged away by the 96 liner.

makani is the least emotional of the three, but he still gets pretty down as he says his goodbyes. his hugs are affectionate, even if it necessarily isn't his thing.

minjae can't come say goodbye, he still has an injury that renders him hospitalized, but hikari made sure to visit him the whole entire week, chastising him so he could take care of himself.

seojun doesn't speak much, simply wishes him the best of luck and leaves it at that, jisung rests a steady hand on his back, but he says nothing.

renjun's bracelets, jaemin's kisses, and chenle's jokes aside, hikari manages to keep himself from crying. donghyuck takes the most time, practically choking hikari in his arms, but he just took it as it was, making sure to laugh.

"take care of yourself please" mark shakes his shoulders, leveling at him with a stare hikari shares with everyone when he reminds them to eat three meals a day. "i'm serious" hikari looks down at the floor, humming as mark continues to shake him gently.

jeno remains silent, biting his bottom lip. hikari shoves his hands into his pocket, rocking back and forth on his heels. he pauses for a moment, lips pressed into a thin line.

"jeno" he calls softly, his hand extending outward. "come".

jeno blinks dumbly, as if hikari is speaking another language. he only unfreezes at the sound of donghyuck's distinct snicker, and he blushes as he laces his hands with hikari's, the two beginning to walk forward.

"seojunie is sad" hikari looks down, his own eyes holding their own weight of dejection. he sucks his teeth, using his free hand to again sling his bag over his shoulder.

"everyone is sad" jeno mutters, a small breath falling from his lips. "i think he might cry.."

hikari glances over at jeno, then smiles. "he won't, he's just a little gloomy, i'll only be gone for four months".

(knowing what the future is, hikari greatly underestimated his own words).

he settles into the feeling of holding his hand, the cold of his rings clashing against jeno's knuckles. it'll be a long time before he can do something like this again, he takes in everything he's currently feeling.

jeno stays silent, yet he earns a nudge from the older. "you also sad?"

"kinda".

not kinda, a lot.

jeno keeps it to himself.

hikari hums, squeezing his hand. "i'm just a phone call away".

"phone calls don't really compare".

the older sighs, clicking his tongue. "i'll be okay, you know i will" he lets go of jeno's hand, and the other has half a mind to take it again. "i'll watch the countdown live, i swear".

jeno nods, but he doesn't exactly care about that, he simply stares. "i don't.." he takes a pause, collecting his next few words. "i love you".

jeno isn't exactly sure why he says it, but maybe he just needed to tell him. hikari knows, yes, but there's nothing wrong with reminding someone of your love for them.

hikari snickers, shaking his head. "i love you too".

jeno stops for a moment, but he then steps forward and wraps his arms around the older, taking in a deep breath. "be safe okay?" he whispers, and hikari nods, head resting onto his chest.

hikari kisses his teeth, blinking away any upcoming tears. he clears his throat, cursing at himself for getting emotional. he looks away for a moment, smiling again. "i will, um.. i'll call you when i get there".

his smile is full of amusement, and he again averts his gaze away from jeno, who he can't bear to look at in the current moment. "say hi to your family for me".

hikari nods. "i will".

and jeno isn't exactly sure why, but he smiles as he watches hikari walk away.

maybe the kiss flipped a switch of some sort, jeno simply thinks hikari is.. strange.

he's strange in a good way, his smiles are bright, his snickers are warm, and maybe pretty is just a good word to describe him, it's perfect.

and yeah it's always been weird. since before jakarta, osaka, candy era, glitch mode era. maybe we young was it began, the fleeting stares and lingering touches, or it could've been go, that era was when they shared a room for a time.

but if you gave jeno an ultimatum, completely erasing the events of jakarta from his mind, boom era was especially strange.

hikari liked boom, he probably considered it their best title track at the time. the era wasn't exactly the best, but he kept up smiles enough that no one really suspected anything.

renjun saw through them in an instant, it took jeno a while, but it eventually became too fake for him to not notice.

there was a time during boom era where they almost kissed, but it was such a tiny hint that it wasn't until a few weeks after that jeno realized what kind of a moment they had.

it was a little bit of a party, the 00 line gathered together in the dorms to drink in celebration of boom promotions being a success. they had, though not seamlessly, booted the three youngest out of the dormitory, underage drinking is a huge no!

hikari didn't necessarily enjoy the taste of alcohol, or drinking for that matter, but he participated for the sake of inclusion. he also participated to make sure none of them would do something that could probably kill them, his first instinct is to always look after the others after all.

jeno gets pretty clingy when drunk, seeing as how he practically crushed renjun's bones with his hugs. it'd only been a good two hours, yet jeno had transformed into a completely different person.

"hiki!" the older startled when jeno came out of nowhere, wincing as the younger squeezes him with an indescribable amount of strength. "you love me right?"

his expression faltered for a moment, but then there was a soft snicker. he blinked, then his nose scrunched. "of course".

jeno's smile widens in a way that should be humanly impossible, yet his grip just again tightens, hikari's teeth grinding against one another in a show of his strength. "you hug too tight".

jeno nuzzled against the older, hikari's hand coming to caress his hair in repetitive ministrations. "how much?"

curse at jeno or whatever, but he's a man who needs reassurance!

(actually, it's less of the need for reassurance and more of him completely loving hearing hikari express his love for him).

"do i really need to speak in specific?"

"so you don't love me?"

though drunken rantings can occasionally be amusing, hikari was tired, his head was beginning to pound, even with the minimal drinking he did.

jeno rose from his place kneeling on the floor, catching the older off guard and making him stumble backward. hikari almost loses his balance, but jeno keeps him steady enough that he doesn't fall on his face.

"okay, maybe we should go to sleep now".

jeno pouts, sighing loudly in an over dramatic manner. "you don't love me! i knew it! nana hiki doesn't love me!"

"don't say that, i do" hikari replies soffly, his gaze replicating the words which leave his lips. "you've just drank too much, maybe get some water, you'll complain in the morning".

jeno doesn't respond to that one, keeping himself against hikari as the older takes him over to his room, the younger giggling. "you're strong".

"i'm not carrying you, were both just walking.." hikari's eyes barely keep themselves open, they almost flutter shut midway through their walk.

"you are a good person" jeno giggles, the smell of alcohol on his breath just makes it past hikari, but he doesn't comment on it. hikari merely hums, though the words fizzle into the air, he still listens.

"you need to let go sometimes, you do good for dream, you—" jeno hiccups before he continues, holding in his upcoming burps. "—you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, mark hyung is proud of you".

hikari blinks, sitting jeno down onto his bed. the other doesn't stop with his continuous rambling though: "you're a good leader".

the older snorts. "i'm not a leader".

"you are, kinda, mostly.. i don't know how to explain it, you care, that's enough of a leader trait".

hikari stares, taking in the drunk rant and overthinking quite literally all of it. his shoulders raise into a shrug of confusion, and he settles right beside the other, motioning for jeno to lay down. "i can't have that responsibility, i'd hate it".

"you already do it, you just don't realize it" jeno says, a lazy smile overtaking his features. he stares endlessly, hands finding purchase on hikari's thighs. a frown tugs at hikari's lips, and jeno immediately raises an eyebrow. "you love me right?"

maybe jeno is simply crazy, but he couldn't help himself in the moment. he thought hikari looked especially pretty at the time, and seeing him not smiling made things feel a bit strange. he almost leaned forward in a point of.. well, something, but hikari squeaked and leaned backward in an immediate reaction, opting to chuckle in reply.

"okay, now it's time to go to sleep" he lays jeno down onto his bed, sighing as he again settles into the feeling of his headache. "i'll give you medicine in the morning".

"i love you hikari" jeno spontaneously blurts, waving a dismissive hand in the air as he snuggles against his pillow.

the older snickers, immediately looking away. "uh huh, i love you too".

he never mentions it.

actually, they do talk about kissing.

the way the two decide to go about it is as subtle as it is careless, the references almost give them away, but hikari is smart, he doesn't say much, just enough that he can get his point across to jeno.

they finally talk about it in manila, but again, subtlety is how they get through it.

"you were mad at me" jeno states, picking at his fingernails. hikari slaps his hands away from each other, gaze again averted as he looks out the window. "admit it".

"i wasn't, i was just pretty taken aback" when hikari glances again, jeno's arms are folded over his chest. he raises an eyebrow, then snickers at the image.

"i still feel like you're mad" he whispers. it's a strange conversation, a strange conversation between a pair of friends who kissed two months ago then didn't really talk about it in specific.

exactly, it's weird.

"when was the last time i got mad about something?"

it's a pretty good question, jeno already knows the answer to that one. it could all just be confusion, the act of feeling uncertain with.. everything. he places his hands into his lap, staring dead at the older. "you don't get mad in a regular way, you get mad silently, it's not that you act angry, you just overthink things and distance yourself".

hikari's face immediately drops, maybe the truth is simply too much to bear. he doesn't decide to show it, he instead bites into his cheek. "that doesn't mean i was mad".

"but you were upset".

hikari sighs. "a little".

he sinks downward and sits beside jeno, continuing to stare out of the window at the night sky. his hands flatten against the floor, and he unconsciously straightens his posture. he notices jeno fidgeting in his peripheral vision, and he sucks his teeth. "usually, kissing is something that friends don't do".

"i know".

"so why'd you do it then?"

the question might be dumb, because the answer pretty much hangs in the air. hikari's left eye twitches at the drag of his tone, but his gaze stays still on jeno.

jeno decides to shrug, maybe he won't give anything away.

wait.. what exactly is he afraid of giving away? is there something to give away?

"i don't know".

jeno would come up with some excuse if he were talking to another member, most people would say that 'i don't know' isn't a valid answer, but it's hikari's main answer for many things, so he know there won't be judgement there.

"did you lose control or something?"

jeno pauses at the strange reference, yet he silently laughs. "i guess you could say that.."

"wow, am i that pretty?"

oh jeno couldn't put it in enough words.

but that isn't exactly the reason either.

"..yeah".

"you're good at flattery".

jeno clears his throat at that, scratching his arm. "it's not.. i guess it's weird".

"well kissing sometimes ruins friendships".

not sometimes, it mostly ruins friendships. jeno isn't stupid, he was just being impulsive. his mind had gone blank and he saw an especially pretty person in front of him, he wasn't.. thinking.

it's not like jeno likes hikari like that..

he thinks at least.

"it's not like i have a crush on you.." he laughs at his own words, parroting the whispers of his own mind.

there's a falter in his eyes, the indifference once there becomes much more of a sting, but if he realizes what he has painted over his features, he quickly shakes his head to snap himself out of it. "of course".

the silence in the room taunts jeno, but hikari is quick to smile again. "just don't fall in love with me, okay?"

it's a bit of a double edged sword, hikari is putting a strange offer on the table. it could be classified as hypocritical in a sense, both hikari and jeno have clearly already crossed that line, they're both guilty as charged, yet he speaks such words anyway.

but for some reason, jeno nods. "alright, i'll hold you to that".

he won't, he knows he won't.

hikari and jeno have always been weird, really, the two just never mentioned it until after a specific moment in time where one of them let it slip.

jeno will let himself believe that everything will stay normal after this, it's easier than coming to terms with how he (both him and hikari in a more general sense) feels.

[cookieslittleocs]

Oke doke! This is the introduction post

I made my own one on canva because its easier to me than the pronouns page [it needs redoing but I'm too lazy rn so just use it as a reference]

im astrid, @astridcookie , you can also me aserty, cookie, galaxy, berry, or anything in the pronoun list above ^^

im biro-ace, astralgender and autistic, and my special interests are the osemanverse and enchanted

Other interests include: centaurworld, the mirror visitor series, kotlc, toh, Harry Potter [i dont like jkr dw], school for good and evil, art, writing, stardew valley, wednesday addams, animals in general

I like collecting magazines and trinkets and essential oils, and i have far too many books and plushies

You know your pronouns? They're mine now! /j [all pronouns are cool!]

I will call anyone bro, dude, sir, babe, and/or darling, and i mean them in a genderneutral and platonic way! If you dont like how im referring to you, please tell me im really not trying to be rude

Contrary to popular belief, i have quite a few feelings, and will get very excited. I show a lot of affection and will tell everyone that i love them no matter how long ive known them for, so if youre uncomfortable with that please let me know! /gen

I also use exclamation points WAY too much

I mean everything i saw unless i specify otherwise, please take everything I saw literally

Also while other people can call me bestie i reserve that title only for my bestie lane, as it is very important to me. So yeah if im not calling you bestie back its not because i dont love you

Also i love being sent messages and asks about ANYTHING at all, even though sometimes it takes me a while to answer them [mental health issues are great arent they ! /sar] so yeah ask me anything you want on my main! On this blog i accept any asks about my ocs, or you can ask my ocs things !

I try to put trigger warnings on potentially triggering posts, but sometimes i forget. If something is triggering to you, or you feel uncomfortable with what im doing, please tell me and we can try and fix that

general tw for my blog:

lots of stuff on mental illnesses which may not always be tagged

sometimes on therapy

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ed [tagged as #tw ed or #tw ed mention or #ed stuff]

swearing [im trying to start tagging it now but I forget sometimes and older posts don't have tags] and sometimes slurs

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Dni nsfw, homophobic, transphobic, anti-neopronouns, biphobic etc, terf, kink, ableist, porn bots, anti-hp [anti jk is fine ofc], anti-agere, nsfw, or if you dont like me!

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Enjoy your experience in my cosy corner of the internet

Aight here's some hot choccie ☕️ thanks for stopping by!

Hello my friends! This is my sideblog, for posting anything about my ocs, including art, writing, an∂ anything else! You can ask me any questions about my ocs here, im happy to infodump about them! You can also request who to draw next

[extravaguk]

sex education 2.0

pairing: college!au, jungkook x reader

summary: "Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." 

wordcount: 9k

genre: smut - angst(? not rlly - fluff, like tons bc im a slut for fluff

rated: m (duh!2.0)

warnings: alcohol and weed consumption, just jk and tae being bros having bro convos, switch!reader, switch!jk, but mostly dom!jk, dirty talk, glimpses of poorly written bdsm, reader being a jealous and ‘insecure little bitch’ (her words, not mine),slapping (dont worry i tried to make it funny), how i met your mother spoilers (sorry im a gemini i spoil shit), spanking, degradation kink, back at it again with the spit kink, slight anal play, beware!of jungkook being a sweetheart, a lil mean at the end but a sweetheart nontheless.

read sex education here!

Three months of being in an actual commitment with Jeon Jungkook, your brother's partner in crime since the young age of five and, therefore, a common denominator throughout your childhood and teenage years, has proven to you a few things you never knew you would discover about the boy himself: Jeon Jungkook is definitely not what you thought him to be. 

You thought growing up with him would've been enough telltale about everything that made Jungkook be, well, Jungkook. He wasn't as immature as you had believed prior to the beginning of your relationship, he was funnier than you remembered -although maybe you found him funnier now that Taehyung wasn't in the picture to interfere with infantile inside jokes that you never were able to grasp-, and smarter than he had ever let you known before. Although you're sure the main reason his grades had started to improve was solely you and the way you rewarded him by opening your legs everytime he passed an exam. 

But above all, if there was something that had truly surprised you about Jeon Jungkook was the fact that he was truly an absolutely and undeniably softie.  

You loved it. Loved the random scribbled love notes he sometimes left in your backpack before kissing you goodbye to leave for his own class, loved the Spotify playlists he made exclusively just for you -with genres that varied between sappy and romantic and wanting to tear your 'wet ass pussy' in two-, loved the late night texts filled with emojis telling you how much he missed you when both of you were too busy doing assignments and studying to see each other -even if it hadn't even been 48 hours since you last saw each other-. You loved how careful and sweet and thoughtful he was. You really did. 

But.

"Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." His mouth falls open and you supress a laugh. You really shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but there's something about Jungkook's reaction to his ego being bruised and that terribly adorable pout on his face that just makes your insides tingle with joy. 

"What do you mean? I've had plenty of girls in bed before you, like a whole lot, and none of them have ever called me boring! They loved this adventurous and fun dick, alright? Why do you think-" you raise a brow, scrutinizingly. It still amazes you how with just a simple expression and no words needed, you can make all color from Jungkook's face banish and how quick he is to reach for your hand across his bed. "But I only love youuuu, and you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and my dick like, baby, have I mentioned how head over heels I'm for you?"

"Only like five times today." rolling your eyes again, you pull your hand from his to toy with the peperoni piece on your slice of pizza. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, he was starting to get truly concerned now. You couldn't possibly...?

"Are you not satisfied? I mean, do I not make you feel good or...?" there's clear worry in his voice and that makes you meet his eyes, shaking your head hurriedly. Now it's you who take his hand in yours.  

"No! No, babe. I love sex with you! I love everything you do to me, I love how you treat me, I love how you make me feel. I'm a hundred percent satisfied, I swear, It's just..." you sigh, dropping your gaze to rub slow and reassuring circles to the ink adorning his skin. "All I'm saying is... I may also want to experience what all those girls have experienced with you, y'know... the not so vanilla stuff. But you always seem to be scared to try new things with me, and I don't know if it's because of m-"

"Baby," Jungkooks soft voice calls out to you, removing the pizza box in between the two of you to slide closer to you on the mattress. He craddles your face with his fingers, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. "_____, don't say that. I just don't ever want to cross any boundaries. I don't want to hurt you or do anything you might not like or regret later, you know that, right?" placing a small kiss on your lips, you hum in content nodding your head yes.

"I know that." you pull him for another brief kiss, oddly not caring about the faint taste of garlic and spice on them because that's what love will do to you. "But what if I do want you to hurt me? What if I want you to fuck my mouth with no mercy until I cry and slap my face after you've cum all over it while you call me a slut?" you pause, eyes meeting his through your eyelashes. "Or viceversa."

It's not that Jungkook is afraid. Because Jungkook is afraid of nothing in this world. He will murder any spider in his way, he will throw a punch to anyone who denies mint chocolate ice cream as the superior ice cream flavour -and he knows that means he will have to literally fight like the entire population on planet earth-, and he will Rey Mysterio you if you ever discredit or deny his incredible skills playing Overwatch.

Jeon Jungkook prides himself in being fearless in every aspect of his life. Except when it comes to you. 

So yeah, maybe he was a little afraid. Because hearing you use the words 'choke', 'slap' and 'slut' in the same sentence did things to him that he didn't deem possible considering none of you were newbies anymore to intimicy. You have been together for three months, for God's sake, but you still made his cock twitch like the first day and he's sure in twenty years you'll have the exact same effect on him.

He didn't want his most primal instincts to overpower the respect and love he'd harboured for you since you were kids because at the end of the day, one, you were still his best friend's little sister, two, he appreciated you too much to ever cross any lines, and three, as cliché as it sounded, you were nothing compared to the girls he had been with previously. What he feels towards you cannot be compared to anything he had experienced before. 

And fuck, was he in a predicament. Because you made him weak in his knees for you and you were not even aware of it. You were not aware of how badly he has wanted to explore and take things way further, way out of both his and your comfort zones. But he's terrified. He's terrified because all he wants is to to take care of you and what if he fails at the one thing he's swore to himself? What if he lets the darkest side of him consume him and at the same time consume you? What if he does actually hurt you, not just psichologically but also physically?

He would never be able to forgive himself. And neither could Taehyung.

And that, was also tormenting him.

Taehyung seemed fine with the two of you dating -or at least that blow to Jungkook's face seemed to ease things between them-, but Jungkook is not dumb and has felt his best friend slowly distancing himself. 

Sure, they were still best friends and will ever will. Taehyung is loyal to Jungkook and Jungkook is loyal to Taehyung. Has been that way since they were five and that will not change just because Jungkook's caught feelings for his little sister.

But the phonecalls were not as often and not as long as they used to be; in rare occasions Jungkook could sense a certain type of awkwardness between them that really had never happened in their friendship, and sometimes Taehyung's jokes seemed to hold more truth than lightheartedness. 

And to top it all off, Jungkook's dilemma regarding you was eating him alive and, usually he would turn to Taehyung for girl advice, only to later realize he was also frightened of doing that. 

But a Friday night at 2 a.m, Jungkook decides he can't take it anymore. 

"Sup, man." Taehyung's voice answers Jungkook's phone call on the second ring, like he always does. 

"Hey, bro." Jungkook clears his voice, suddenly feeling self conscious. "Are you busy?"

"I don't know," his friend seems to be chewing on what Jungkook bets is red Skittles -yes, only the red ones- because he just knows him too well. "Are you busy still fucking my little sister?" 

Taehyung chuckles at his own joke, but Jungkook doesn't. He knows there's no malice, but he can't help to think there might be. He settles for a sigh. "Yeah." he can hear some shuffling on the other side and the clicking of a computer mouse. Jungkook would also bet he was playing Among Us and he would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed he hadn't called him to play with him. "Y'know what, it's not even important, I'll just call y-"

"Come on, man. You haven't even laughed at that and you usually laugh at everything I say even when no one else does." Taehyung swirls in his chair, his attention fully focused on his best friend. "Seriously, what's bothering you." Jungkook takes a deep breath, rubbing the side of his face. 

"It's about _____."

"_____? As in, my little sister? Who you're fucking?"  

"Tae, dude-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Go on." Taehyung stiffles a laugh and waits patiently for Jungkook to continue.

"She um... Fuck, I hope this isn't weird, dude. I really do. She wants to like... rough it up in the bedroom, I guess? And I just... I don’t know... I'm terrified dude." There's silence filling the gap between Taehyung and Jungkook and Jungkook almost feels like throwing up. 

"You're coming to me for sex advice... about my little sister?"

"I know, dude but... Who else I'm supossed to talk to? Jimin? Hoseok?" Jungkook sits up on his bed, an ugly knot beginning to form in his stomach. "I mean, you're my best friend," Jungkook swallows again, voice cracking. "...right?"

It's Taehyung's turn to sigh after a few seconds before he replies. "Forever and always, bro." His tone settles Jungkook's uneasiness. There's nothing but honesty in it. "Listen, Guk. I really don't know what kind of advice to give you because, literally, ew. But I do know my sister, and if that's what she wants and she's communicated with you about it, it’s because she trusts you. And I trust you more than anyone in my life. So there you go, man."

Relief washes all over Jungkook's body and he lays back on the bed again, heart not beating as hard as it was a few seconds ago. 

"Thanks, dude." Jungkook smiles. "Sorry for calling you so late."

"No problem, bro." Taehyung smiles as well, swirling his chair back to his computer screen. A weight of his own being lifted. "Among Us next time?"

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Good night, bro."  

Taehyung calls Jungkook's name before he can hang up. "Hey, man?"

"Yeah, man?"

There's a pause between them and then Taehyung speaks. "I love you, man."

Jungkook supresses the threat of tears about to spill because he knows Taehyung would try to bruise his other other eyebrow if he ever found out. Or hug him to death. Or both.

"I love you too, bro."

"This reminds me of the first time you gave me a blowjob." Jungkook chuckles, watching you get down on your knees between his spread thighs, make up free and sporting a similar low messy bun as that time he's mentioning, except this time you're wearing one of his hoodies engulfing your smaller frame. Proof that this time around, you're exclusively his and no one else’s.

"You mean the blowjob of your life." you giggle as you reach out to pull down his sweatpants, deligthed to see he decided on not wearing any underwear. Your spit on the back of your hand and immediately wrap it around the base of his rock hard cock while his own darts out to push the strands falling down your face behind your ear, heart eyes emoji looking down at you looking up at him. 

Your tongue swirls around the tip timidly, swallowing the drop of precum oozing as he sighs heavily and lovingly. "Every blowjob you give me is the blowjob of my life." he unties your hair from the band holding it together because he prefers his fingers to be the hair tie, prefers to be the one to guide the bobbing of your head up and down his dick. 

You hum in appreciation against him, cherry balmed lips wrapping fully around the head of his cock and he hums back. "Love seeing you on your knees for me with your pretty mouth stuffed, fuck." You take him deeper, closing your eyes. 

Your hand moving accordingly to your mouth and your panties already wet, clinging to your folds. It's really not your fault Jungkook is the most delicious eye candy on earth and how fast can the mere sight of him make your pussy lips quiver. You slurp around the head obscenely , a moan of yours mixing with a moan of his. "Hands on your back." 

You obligue, removing your hands and growing excited at the dominating low tone his voice exerts. The grip he has on your hair tightens and controls your motions, pushing you further down his dripping shaft until your nose hits his pubic bone. He holds you there, his own eyes closing shut and his dick twitching insde your mouth. A thrust of his hips make you gag and has one of your hands flying to tap his leg two times, letting him know you were in need for air. 

He releases you, pulling you back until his cock is pulsating in front of you. He looks down at you, both breathless but the difference is you look so messy. Eyes watery, chest moving heavily and saliva leaking from your lips. 

Yeah, there was a reason Jungkook hasn't been like this with you before. The sight of you submitting completely and looking so nasty was too much for him to handle. He might never want to see you any other way than this. 

"Isn't this what you wanted, huh?" the free hand that had been supporting his weight on the matress grasps your face harshly, making you lock eyes with him.

 "I thought you wanted me to choke you with my cock like a little whore?" you nod your head eagerly, unable to form words. Your pussy throbs, prompting you to rub your thighs to get some sort of relief as his thumb smears the spit adorning your lips. You're quick to envelop it in the warmth of your mouth, an involuntary moan leaving your throat. "Such a pretty slut," he lets his cock slap against your cheek, removing his thumb to move his hand back to his previous position. "Open again."

You do, his length entering your mouth again -that you gladly accept- and then he's shoving you down by your hair. "Shit, gonna fuck your mouth so good..." 

And he does, not holding back anymore, his hand thrusting your head along his shaft until your throat tightens around him repeteadly, struggling for breath. But you take it, you take the aggresiveness and the degradation because fuck, you've been waiting for so long to know what this feels like. To have Jungkook be mean and have this type of control and power over you and you're enjoying it a bit too much. 

"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum, leave your mouth open." he releases on your tongue, not able to look away from the image of you with tears falling down your eyes and mouth drenched with him and your spit, some of his cum staining down your chin and the corners of your lips that he gathers with his thumb and pushes back into your mouth. He groans, watching you swallow all of it like a good girl, your tongue grazing around his digit for the remainings, gaze not leaving his. "Let me grab my phone real quick, I need to take a picture of this."

You were definitely not the jealous type.  

You prided yourself on being able to recognize when your behaviours were due to your own insecurities and removing all sorts of feelings of uncertainty from your mind. You never liked toxic patterns or the glamorization of them and your relationship with Jungkook was proof. You knew relationships were supossed to be based on blind trust and faith in your partner and yours definitely reciprocated in the same way. 

"So can anybody tell me why Eunha is basically all over my boyfriend right now?" you wish you could blame your state on Hoseok's weed, who's sitting on the left side of the couch right next to you at the frat party. You really wish you could have an explanation for the way your heart tugged in such a weird way and your stomach swirled dangerously until almost making you nauseous. You really tried to blame your overthinking on the joint you had just passed to your friend. 

You knew it was bound to happen someday, especially considering Jungkook had always been a ladies' man and the kind of attraction from both men and women he was able to manifest, willing or unwillingly. You just never thought it would happen so soon and in such way that made you clench your fists so tight and your nails dig into the palm of your hands so painfully. 

"I mean, they did have like a long fling a few years ago, didn't they?" Seulgi, sitting on your right, chimes in. 

That was true. Longer than most flings Jungkook ever had before you.  

"Yeah, before she dumped him." Hoseok adds.

Your eye twitches and your jaw contracts. Because that, was also true, and it was mostly what was bothering you so much. 

Had it been Jungkook the one to move away from his situationship with Eunha like with most girls, you wouldn't have such a problem with the way she's shamelessly leaning towards him from across the room. Or the way she's twirling a strand of her hair between one of her fingers while battling her lashes. Or the way she's hysterically laughing at whatever he was saying, because your boyfriend was funny, but he was not that funny. 

You were not the jealous type, and Jungkook definitely wasn't giving you any reason to be, because as coquettish as the blonde was being or as provocatively as she was pushing her tits into his arm, he politely keeps his distance and tries to also engage with Jimin in conversation, leaving her pouting. But that wasn't enough to not make you start seriously questioning your feminist ethics right now. 

"Wait, you're not jealous, are you?" Seulgi turns to you, offering you the joint -how long had you been focusing your attention on Jungkook and Eunha to not realize it was your turn again to smoke?-. You take it, hesitating between answering right away or taking a hit before doing that. You were never a good liar. You look between your two friends who are looking back at you with their eyebrows raised.

"I-" you close your mouth and run your fingers through your hair. "Maybe? I don't know what I'm feeling and I don't like it one bit." 

"Aw, babe." Seulgi squeezes your knee, eyes showing you sympathy. "Jealousy is a natural response to any relationship."

"I know..." you take the joint in your hand, taking a long drag before letting the smoke out. "I just don't want to sound like an insecure little bitch!" you whine. "I don't want to be like 'Oh, why would Jeon Jungkook, a God of the Olympus, dare give his attention to a peasant as unworthy as me!?' Like no, he's just a man. A little less mediocre than most but a man nontheless. I'm not going to doubt myself or other women just because he's more beautiful than most, and hotter, and funnier and has a massive co-" you notice you're getting carried away by the look of disgust in Hoseok's face and Seulgi trying to hold back a laugh. 

"Anyways, he's lucky to have me. We're both lucky to have each other but sometimes I feel like I might be the luckiest out of the two. And seeing Eunha looking so pretty and throwing herself at him is triggering me because..." you pause to take a deep breath and lounch back on the couch. "What if he realizes one day that I'm luckier than he is and he could be luckier with someone else?"

There's, ironically, a long silence. Ironically because the sound of Travis Scott making the walls tremble is anything but, until Hoseok speaks.

"I think you feel that way because you still haven't seen how that boy looks at you, _____." and then he motions to the spot from across the room you had been observing for too long, the spot where Jungkook is now glancing at you after noticing your detectable distress, with a frown on his features. 

'You okay?' he mouthes, his fist raising in the air in a thumbs up, questioningly.  

Your heart jerks, and not out of bitterness or envy caused by a girl trying to get your boyfriend's attention. Because his attention is always entirely on you, no matter how many feet are separating the two of you. 

'Yes' you mouth back, with a nod of your head and an encouraging smile that has formed itself on your face. He beams as well at you. Mouthes an 'I love you' and puckers his lips in a flying kiss that makes you giggle. You mimic him, your heart tight against your chest. 

Hoseok is right. You have nothing to worry about.

Jungkook is in love with you. Sometimes, he thinks, he's too in love with you.

"Can't believe I'm letting you do this."

"Can't believe you're such a pussy."

Jungkook huffs in annoyance. He would smack your ass right now if his hands weren't restricted by a scarf of yours he had never seen before to your bedpost. He would also send you a mean look if his eyes weren't covered by the only tie he owned and had so generously lent to you. 

When you mentioned you wanted to try this, he expected you to be in this position. Not the other way around.

He's sprawled on your bed, only his boxers covering him as your legs straddle his waist and you tighten the hold of the scarf around his wrists sternly. He winces and manages an 'Hey!' He knows you're only wearing your panties because he can't feel anything else and he's felt one of your naked tits brushing  his face as you tied him up. He also tried to catch one of your nipples in his mouth as a form of punishment, to no use because you swiftly backed away from his attempt. 

"I've never been a bottom before, this is new for me." he says. He really doesn't mind any of this. He's just not used to it. He knows he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a little bit, even if he'd rather be the one to have you completely unmoving and naked beneath him. Especially now that you're skimming your nails up and down his torso.

"Mm, good to know." your lips follow the path your fingers created, from the center of his chest up, moving steadily and tracing soft kisses over his flesh. 

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." you croon, dragging your tongue from the pulse of his neck to his earlobe, nails scraping lightly over his left nipple. Jungkook shudders, air sucked in through his teeth as his mouth opens on its own. Taking advantage of this, you place a kiss on the corner of his lips before slipping your tongue inside. 

He answers simultaniously, his own tangling with yours, swallowing each other's moans. Your hips set a slow peace, clothed cad core griding over the length poking between your thighs. His hips move unvoluntarily, trying to find some sort of friction to make up for the fact that his hands are unavailable to knead your ass and pull you closer, if that was even possible.

You separate from him, raising on your knees. Jungkook whines in protest, hips buckling up from the mattress to try to meet yours again.

"Jungkook, I'm serious, stay still!" 

"I take it back." his voice shaky and hands straining against the tight hold the scarf you tied around has on them. "I don't like this. Untie me so I can fuck you, babe." he complains. You sit on his tiny waist, your thighs trying to stop his movements. 

You take a moment to assess him. He looks too beautiful for his own good: hair courtaning his forehead, biceps bulging and abs flexing. You can't see his eyes but you know they might be glassy. You bite your lip to supress a whine of delight. You almost consider doing as he says. Almost. 

But you mantain your ground. Your jealousy from the other night had been crawling slowly from within these past few days and since you couldn't take it out on Jungkook any other way because he really wasn't to blame, you figured you'd try something new to punish him and let some of your supressed anger vanish. 

Twisting your body back to pull down his boxers, not all the way, just enough to have his cock springing free from the confines of the fabric and slapping against your asscheeks.

"Has toxic masculinity seriously polluted your brain so much you can't take this seriously?" you fall forward, one of your hands balancing you beside his head as the other wraps around his neck, a tentative hold not yet to constrict his breathing. 

He gulps, his body's tense and his Adam's apple is prominent under your touch. All he can see is black but he'd do anything to watch your pretty tits bouncing in front of his face. "I don't like this conversation either." he pouts.

"Then why are you so hard?" you grin, holding yourself back from laughing as he hesitates for an answer. You lean closer, mouth against his ear as you whisper. "I'm so wet right now, I could take you just like this. No lubrication at all and my pussy would just swallow your dick." Feeling his girth still between your ass flutter, clearly affected by the sultry tone of your voice. You remove your hand from his neck seeing as he has stopped moving obediently. Reaching back, you slide your panties to the side and align your entrance to the head of his leaking cock. 

"Fuck, baby, please~" Jungkook's pleads fills the air, hips desperately back in motion and sliding just a few inches inside your drenched heat. The warmth envoles him instantly, your pussy pulsates around him and neither of you can't help the in synch groans tearing from your throats. 

"Just the tip" you lick your lips, your voice betraying you as you resist the urge to glide the rest of his lenght inside your quivering core.

"Just the tip, my ass." 

Out of sudden, Jungkook is swiftly lifting his hips from the matress, sinking all the way in. You cry as your body jumps forward, face hidden in the juncture of Jungkook's sweaty neck. His thick cock stretches you out as nice and deep and perfectly as he always does. You mewl. This was not supossed to happen at all.  

"See? This is what you really wanted." you can hear the chuckle threatening to spill from his lips, anger starting to boil inside of you again. 

Regaining a little bit of your lost control, you lift yourself on your trembling knees and sit back again, the tip of his dick hitting your cervix. You groan in unision, placing your hands on the hard planes of his chest and steadying yourself to try to reclaim your dominance. Finding it troublesome, because Jungook is set on having it his own way, his thrusts meeting yours in perfect synch.

You really shouldn't feel your climax approaching so soon but somehow battling for control while bickering with Jungkook is about to send you over the edge and that's making you even more annoyed.

"I swear to God, Jungkook. If you don't stop moving and shut the fuck up..." your murmur through gritted teeth, jaw slackened and eyes fluttering shut.  

"What?" he spats, breathing rugged and voice coarse. "If I don't shut up, you'll wha-"

The sound of a sharp smack echoes inside your room and Jungkook's movements freeze on the spot. His head is turned to the side from the impact, and a faint print of your fingers is adorning his  already stinging cheek. None of you mutter anything for a few seconds, until concerned words start to rush out of you.

"Ohmygod, Jungkook, I-"

"Did you just slap me?" Jungkook is unmoving, his mouth agape and you can picture the incredulous expression his eyes might be oozing. "Baby, what the fuck?!" You're mortified. Your hands cover your mouth and your eyes, wide open, stare down at him although he can't stare at you back.

"Babe, I don't know why I did that, you wouldn't stop talking and I know that's not an excuse but it-" 

"It was fucking hot." a breathy laugh in disbelief leaves his chest. Your forehead creases, hands falling down to your chest to try to steady your incessant heartbeat. His tongue darts between his pearly teeth, a smug smirk on his features. An eyebrow of yours raises as you size him up, the realization that his body is completely motionless now hitting you.

Lurging forward, you pinch his jaw between your fingers, your hips carry on their grinding on their own accord. He releases a raspy moan, your walls clenching around him as another hit strikes his cheek, softer this time. 

"You gonna be good to me?" you mutter against his lips. He nods slowly, his mouth salivating as your hips swirl on top of him. He blindly tries to reattach his mouth to yours, but you dodge him, going for the skin of his clavicle instead. "Can I fuck you slow like this until you're filling me with your cum?" He squirms when he feels you sucking a pretty purple bruise on his flesh, your cunt dropping all the way down his cock, leisurly grinding against his pelvic bone, looking yourself to find some relief to your clit. 

"Ah!" his head tilts back, back slighlt arching as you soothe the mark on his neck with your tongue. "That m-might be s-sooner than you think, babe" he admits timorously, swallowing the lump in his throat, the veins on his neck on full display. 

You sigh in content because, thankfully your orgasm is also closer than he thinks it is. "M-me too-" you gasp, your face buried on his shoulder, letting your fingers brush his ebony hair, nails gently scrapping his scalp as you keep the tortuous movements of your hips against his, his girth hitting that spot just right everytime until you feel the knot in your tummy finally snapping. "C-cum, J-Jungkook, I-m-"

Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he has been holding back from it for a while now, not really willing to admit he was enjoying this as much as he was. With a thrust of his own fused with the way your pussy is tightening around him it's enough to send him over the edge, an unpredicted cry emanating from his vocal chords harmonizing with your own, his whole body tensing as your walls milk every single drop of his cum. 

For several minutes you stay just like that. Jungkook's hands still tied, blindfold still on, his mouth still agape as his chest rises and falls until his breathing becomes steady again. And you, on top, your fingers tangled in his dark locks, your breath fanning against his neck and his release dripping down your thighs. You stay like that until your body starts shaking with uncontrollable laughter. 

Jungkook tilts his head towards yours, eyebrows furrowing and eyes still covered.

"What was that noise?" you manage through your giggle fit. "'Aaah!'" You've never made a noise like that before, I can't- it was so funn-"

Even while still being strained and blindfolded and with you making fun of him, a loopsided goofy smirk starts making an appearence on Jungkook's features. 

Fancy dinner parties were never your thing. 

Wearing heels that were too high -specifically to try to match Jungkook's height-, a new expensive dress that you were surely going to return as soon as the event was over because you definitely could not afford it and socializing with Jungkook's clique was definitely not the way you envisioned your Saturday night going. 

At least Jungkook had barely been able to keep his hands for himself at the sight of you wrapped in emerald green silk and lace. But even that couldn't make you feel less uncomfortable and out of place. 

Yugyeom, one of Jungkook's friends, had definitely more money than your boyfriend had previously let you know. Apparently, being a 'lil rich' as Jungkook had mentioned meant booking a luxurious restaurant to hold a dinner party with at least fifty people who looked just as 'lil rich' as Yugyeom's Gucci tuxedo.  

'It'll be alright babe. Yugyeom always insists on celebrating his birthday like it's an Oscar after party. We'll just eat some of that disgusting caviar and then head home to watch Netflix, I swear'. 

And yes, caviar was gross, but so was the fact that Jungkook had failed to mention a certain someone would also be making an appearence. 

After introducing you to a few of his friends and realizing that Mingyu's frendliness and amiability helped you feel more relaxed, he had excused himself to the bathroom, leaving you and his friend to entangle in a heated conversation about How I Met Your Mother's finale season. 

You were thankful for Mingyu's humble nature and easygoing talk for a few minutes until you finally spotted your boyfriend making his way back into the room, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge a group of friends from his class. 

Again, you wouldn't have such a problem with a certain blonde if she would just stop looking at Jungkook with stars in her eyes and pressing her cleavage against him while playing with her hair. It was hard to keep track of your conversation with Mingyu while Eunha was standing right next to your boyfriend and seemingly ogling up at him. It was also hard to not let your mind waver to dangerous territory when you took notice of how disgustingly good they looked together. 

Just two attractive people who would look disgustingly good together. 

Mingyu's voice makes you turn back to him. 

"...I don't know, like, Barney was a womanizer until Robin, you know? He changed for her! They were just perfect for each other, but they had to throw it all away by killing the mother and then making Robin marry Ted? And Barney going back to his old ways?" Mingyu sounds exhasperated and you would laugh and find it cute if your stomach wasn't tugging again in a way that made you regret drinking so much wine so fast. Specially after his last statement.  

"That's what I'm saying." you mumble, turning your attention back to your boyfriend in the crowd.

Jungkook wouldn't go back to his old ways. He loves you. There's nothing to worry about.

But as you watch him start to make his way towards you, you also watch the way Eunha grabs the sleeve of his blazer to pull him back. She leans in, whispers something in his ear to which he just shakes his head, says something that it's impossible to decipher from here you're standing and simply walks in your direction. 

Still, as much as you tried to be neutral and objective and not a 'jealous little bitch', it's almost impossible to hide the sour expression on your face. It's impossible to unclench your jaw throughout the entire evening or lose the too tight grip on your glass of wine. Even when Jungkook whispers in your ear if you're okay, you merely nod yes. You avoid eye contact with him and everytime he tries to slip your hand into his, you dodge him it by wrapping your arms around yourself, claiming how cold it is.

Jungkook is not dumb. 

He know something's up but he's also not stupid enough to cause a scene in public or preassure you into talking. So he settles on wating and being patient. Even as he slips his jacket on your stiff shoulders with pouty lips and his eyebrows drawn together, all he does is press a small kiss to the back of your neck. It takes all power within you to not throw yourself in his arms. 

But as midnight approaches and it's time to leave, you notice a change in Jungkook's behaviour as you say your goodbyes. His hand on your back is not just a soft caress, instead, his fingers pull you closer, dig into your skin as he drags the both of you to where his car is parked. Now it's him who avoids your gaze. His tensed jaw and his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek is a visible indicator that Jungkook is pissed. 

You know his body language as well as he knows yours. And now, as he opens the door of the passanger seat so you can slide in, the guilt and the remorse of acting cold towards him for hours is finally dawning on you. 

"Are you going to tell me now what was that about?" when he closes his own door shut, he doesn't bother to put his seatbelt on. Just grips the steering wheel as he turns to you. 

"I-I don't know what you're t-"

"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he laughs, not a bit of humour in it. "I know scenes like this make you feel uncomfortable but I actually thought everything was going fine. I leave you for five minutes with Mingyu and when I come back, you won't look at me, won't touch me, won't act like I'm your boyfriend. Like I did something wrong. So please, _____, tell me, what's going on?"

You know there's no excuse for the way you acted. You know it's not Jungkook's fault he attracts attention and it most definitely not his fault if an ex of his is still hung up on him. You know it's your own fault and you know you should not try to excuse yourself and fight back. You'd swore to yourself you'd push down any feelings of jealousy deep inside until they disappeared. But something about tonight makes you explode.

"Why was she being all over you?"

Jungkook's face twists in confusion. "What? Who?"

"Eunha! Who the fuck else? She was all over you a few weeks ago at Minghao's party, and she was all over you tonight!" your voice is louder than you would've liked but at this point all you care about is letting it all out.

"This is what all of that was about? Eunha?"

"Yes! I've seen her on campus as well! Always trying to get your attention! I don't care that you have friends in common, but specially tonight, she whispered something to you and she was looking at you like she-"

"Who cares how she looks at me? All you need to care about is how I look at you because the only thing I care about is how you look at me!" Jungkook exclaims, clearly exhausted of this conversation. 

You sink in your seat and look away as the knuckles on his hands turn white from gripping the steering wheel. 

"_____," he calls you gently,  but his voice mantains a stern tone to it. "We don't do jealousy. I thought we were supossed to trust each other blindly. Have I not proved to you how sickenly in love with you I am? Do you not trust me and what I feel?"

"I-... Of course I do. I-just... I don't know. You're right. That was uncalled for." you wrap yourself in the warmth of Junkook's blazer, trying to make his scent wash away any ugly resentment and guilt in your body. 

"Wanna know what she said to me?" a rethorical question, because he was going to tell you anyway. "She asked me if I was going to stay for Yugyeom's after party, way past midnight. Wanna know what I said?" he turns to you. "I said no, I'm spending the night with my girlfriend."

None of you say nothing after that. He just puts his seatbelt on and starts driving. It's not too much of a far drive to his dorm, but the silence and the awkwardness makes it feel so much longer than it should be. You don't remember the last time Jungkook was mad at you. Actually, you don't think Jungkook has ever been mad at you. He loved the banter, loved to tease you, loved being competitive with you. But you had never seen him being avoidant of you. And that feeling tears your heart on the seat of his car.

"Are you mad at me?" you ask, voice barely audible, when the car stops at a red light. His dark eyes meet yours, his face immediately softening as he studies your expression. Then he picks one of your small hands in one of his big ones, brings it to his lips and lightly kisses your knuckles. He communicates with his eyes what he doesn't with words and it's enough to make you feel secure, at least for now.

When you finally arrive at Jungkook's room, he holds the door ope for you and lets you walk in, but he's still unusually quiet. So much so, you start to worry you might have fucked up big time. 

You stand there, not knowing what to do as you watch him sit down on his bed, slipping his shoes and socks off and loosening the tie around his neck. His hair, that was perfectly styled a few hours ago, is now messy by the amount of times his hand has pushed it back. He looks too yummy, and you hate the fact that tension and a little bit of fighting has managed to make him look as delectable. 

You ignore the heat starting to form in your belly because now it's not the time to be horny. Not when you still need to apologize and make things right. He's rolling  the sleeves of his black shirt down his forearms when you decide to speak. 

"Jungkook, I'm very sorry." you start, as you remove his blazer off you and place it on the chair right in front of his desk. "I don't know why I acted the way I did. I dont get easily jealous and I really don't think I am but..." your throat constricts your words for a moment. "The more I love you, the more frightened I get when I think that one day you'll realize I'm better off as your best friend's little sister. I-I dont know what I'd do with myself if that ever happene-"

"Take off your dress." Jungkook's impassive voice and emotionless face startles you and you freeze on your feet. 

"What?"

"Did I stutter?"

His elbows rest on his knees and he's holding your stare with his. His doe eyes lack that free spirited and amusing glint they usually have. He looks bored, scrutinizing you. He's not challenging you. He's commanding you because he knows you will obligue. 

That's why you gulp and slowly slide the straps of your dress down your arms until the fabric pools at your feet. His eyes waver along your naked breasts, nipples perking up like the mere intensity of his gaze is ordering them to. He doesn't make a move and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He doesn't compliment you like he normally would at the sight of you almost naked in front of him.

His lack of words make you feel insecure, regardless of how turned on you are. You're used to Jungkook being reassuring, you're used to his lighthearted jokes and his playful kisses in the bedroom. But you're not used to Jungkook telling you what to do and keeping his distance while doing so. Your arms move on their own to hide yourself.

"Don't. If you hide from me, I swear to God, _____." he watches you as you let your arms fall back to your sides, your chest moving up and down while you struggle to breathe. You can't deny Jungkook's gruff voice and his eyes studying every bit of skin available to him like he hasn't seen you naked before is not making your underwear stick to your lower lips. 

"JK, I just don't think this is the right moment to-"

"On my lap." your heart skips a bit, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.

"Jungkook-"

"I said, get on my lap, face down." he says again, this time slower. One of his eyebrows quirk up. "Or would you rather me drag you myself? Or make you crawl?"

Your eyes widen, and your feet are quick to approach him. Your nipples tingle, your core is throbbing and your cheeks are adorned by a beautiful blush that Jungkook doesn't miss. 

He doesn't move until you're in front of him, just to help you lower yourself on his lap, your cheek and your nipples touching the mattress and your ass up. You close your eyes when Jungkook skims his fingertips over your skin, his carressing relaxing your body until he eases your nerves a bit. He sighs when he notices the way that poor excuse of a thong sticks between your folds as his strong hands massage your buttcheeks. 

He's taking his time, his fingers gliding over your soft skin, his breathing too calm for your liking. Until one palm of his hand collides sharply against your right cheek, sending your body forward. You gasp, the stinging making your body want to pull away. But he's quick to catch both your wrists behind your back, keeping you in place. 

"Jungk-!"

Another smack, this time harder, on the same cheek. 

"Did I give you permission to talk?"  

Smack. This time on the left cheek. Your back arches on its own will, presenting more of your ass to him unwittingly. Your eyes squeezed shut and bite the inside of your cheek as you rub your thighs together. You keep quiet as his hand lands another blow on your ass. 

"That's a good girl. Now," his voice is gentler this time as his hand soothe your reddened cheeks. "do you think what you did tonight was okay?" you say nothing, only a mewl slips past your lips. Another smack. "Answer me."

"No." you lick your lips, anticipating more. 

"Do you think it was funny to pull a stunt like that?" 

Smack.

"N-no!"

"No, it wasn't. Spread your legs for me." you do as you're told and he finally pulls down the drenched piece of lace down your thighs. He leans forward, spreads your cheeks with one hand as he lets a glob of spit fall directly into your lips. He makes you gasp when his fingers start sliding up and down your folds slowly. 

"I've had to put up with this kind of behavour since the day you begged me to fuck this tight, virgin pussy like the little slut you are." you whine, face red as humiliation starts to creep in. Jungkook slips one finger in, pumping it slow and easy. Your hips move to take him deeper.

"I tried to be a gentleman, you know?" he says, adding a second finger. "I've tried to treat you nice and sweet and be the best boyfriend I could be to make you happy and keep you satisfied in every sense of the word." his thumb finds your clit, rubbing tortuous circles. 

"Been compeletely whipped since I kissed you for the first time. Haven't looked at other girls because I just can't when I have everything I want to look at right in front of me." murmuring, he starts to get lost your pussy and how it swallows his fingers and how obscene you look and sound, dripping right on his trousers. He watches his fingers moving in and out, almost hypnotized. "Yet, somehow..." he pulls away. You whimper in protest. 

"Somehow, you still seem to doubt me." His hand smacks your cheek again, wet fingers spreading your essence all over your skin.

"P-please, please." you cry. You miss Jungkook's sadistic smile before he releases the grip on your wrists, still keeping you on his lap. Both his hands spread your cheeks now, and another glob of spit falls right into your asshole. His fingers find your cunt again, easily taking you almost over the edge.

"If you could only look at yourself right now... All spread out for me like a needy whore in heat" his thumb teases your unexplored rim, hesitantly, coating it with his spit and your own arousal. He presses in slowly. You gasp, your body tenses and Jungkook stills his movements immediately. There's silence for a few seconds. 

"Too far? Should I stop?" and there's your Jungkook, concern lacing his voice. His free hand caresses your back, your body relaxing, laying back down obediently. His fingers are still inside you and his thumb is still asking for entrance. He leans forward, placing a small but comforting kiss on the bruised skin of your right asscheek. 

"Go on." you whisper, but he doesn't move right away. This time, it's his own body that tenses momentarely before going back to his tranquil demeanor. He breathes through his noise as his fingers pick up where they left off. 

"Yeah?" you swear you hear him swallow a lump in his throat. "Gonna let me finger this tight little ass like a good slut? Mm?" his thumb slides deeper, slightly stretching you out while his fingers work your pussy in a solid rhythm. "Gonna let me stretch you out little by little until I can open you up with my cock one day?" his movements speed up, fingers sliding out of your cunt to play with your clit and his thumb slowly moving in and out. "You don't wanna talk now? You just want to stay silent while I fuck your ass and-"

And then you're cumming, so unexpected it takes both of you by surprise. Your hands grip onto Jungkook's sheets, your thighs clasp around his hand as you scream his name. He doesn't stop though. He rides you through it, encouraging words mixing with filthy insults that prolong your orgasm until you're squirming beneath him. 

"Shit, baby... My hand is soaked." he mumbles, as he slowly removes his fingers and thumb from you. "You okay?"

You faintly nod your head yes, not able to find words through your dry mouth and your pussy still convulsing. 

"Good. Get on the bed. On your hands and knees." 

You somehow manage to slip from his lap and position yourself as he says. Except your arms and legs are shaking. Although the sound of Jungkook undoing his belt and his hands gripping your hips and bringing you towards him until the head of his dick is at your entrance is enough to make you forget about how tired your body is. You surrender to him, not even bothering to hold yourself up on your arms, your fingers crumbling the sheets and your face buried into the pillow. 

When his cock enters you, a pitiful moan leaves your mouth. His thick lenght slides into your heat, filling you perfectly as he always does. It's a wonder how well he fits inside you. 

"Such a perfect slut for me. Always ready for me to do whatever I want with her, since day one. So tight, so ready. So, so perfect. All mine." he talks as measured as he moves, dragging each word out as his hips find a nice tempo. 

Then he doesn't move for a while with his dick buried between your walls, and you know he's holding himself back. You turn your head slightly to look at him. He catches your eyes instantly. Sees your mascara running down your watery eyes, and your smudged lipstick and your messy hair and then he's giving you that look. That look that lets you know that Jungkook is, indeed, whipped for you. Leaning in, he presses his shirt-covered chest to your sweaty, naked back. His cock dives deeper, not an ounce of space between you as he lovingly kisses your cheek until his mouth finds yours. 

He kisses you hard but soft, tongue meeting yours for the first time since you entered the room. Jungkook is not a man of words. He's silly, and a jokester, and finds it difficult to express how he's feeling. But when he kisses you, or looks at you, when he touches you, or when he makes love to you, even if it's as dirty and filthy as right now, he's always able to transmit exactly what he can't vocally.

He's telling you there's no other place he'd rather be than here, with you. 

When he pulls back, a string of saliva still connecting your lips, his hand moves to the back of your head, fisting your hair in a tight hold that makes you arch your back and desperately moan for him.

"A-and you're mine." you sob.

It's like something snaps inside of him. He growls and suddenly his hips lose control. He nails you against the mattress, his grip on your hair pulling your head back, his lips against your ear as your cunt clenches around his cock. 

"Just yours. All yours." his grunts send shivers down your spine and you're close again, even in the painful and uncomfortable position your body is in. Being at Jungkook's mercy and him being at yours is enough to have you seeing starts.

"This is the only pussy I want wrapped around my cock. Your lips are the only ones I want to kiss. You're the only one I want between my arms." It only takes two flickers of Jungkook's free hand against your nub and his next words to tip you over. "You belong to me, and I belong to you."

You squeal as you come, and Jungkook bites your shoulder to keep himself from doing so as well as he follows shortly. He fills you up with his release,  but he doesn't release you from him. He wraps his arms around your frame, both your bodies becoming soft as he rolls over to one side with your back still pressed to his chest, cock still inside you. His lips find their way to the skin of your shoulder and the back of your neck. His breath fanning your flesh makes you smile.

"That is so not like my sister. I'm telling you, she never gets jealous." Taehyung says over the phone. He's munching on something again and Jungkook would bet all the money in his wallet again he's eating Skittles. Red Skittles. "So, everything cool now?"

"Yeah, man. We just talked it out, you know?" Jungkook's gaze falls on you, laying on your stomach on his bed, laptop iluminating your face, earbuds on and your head moving to whatever music you're listening to. Jungkook would bet all the money in his bank account it's Shape Of My Heart by The Backstreet Boys. Or at least that's what he's been able to guess so far. He was never good at reading lips, specially when trying to guess boybands' lyrics. 

Friday's nights meant late 1990's/early 2000's pop nostalgia for you. It meant shaking his head and spending the following week trying to get Britney and Xtina songs out of his brain for him. Although lately, he hadn't been trying that hard. Jungkook sighs in content, not really trying to cover the fact that he might be looking at you like a starstruck teenager. Which, it was totally fair because that's exactly how he feels about you. "Communication is key, bro."

He keeps watching you until your head perks up and catch him gawking. You smile at him and he smiles back.

"By 'communication is key' you mean you actually fucked my little sister silly right? Bro, I swear, I'll block your numb-"

"Sorry man, gotta go." 

"And now you're gonna fuck her silly again, right? You son of a b-"

Jungkook hangs up just as you take your earbuds off, making his way to you to kiss you silly.

[itonje]

that’s fascinating because I know a lot less than you do and to me it seems

anti-lancelot agenda: the Victorians

anti-kay agenda: like... a lot of the major works

omg hi anon i dont know if you know less than i do but you probably dont i know like nothing im just here LOL youre good and fair warning for my arthurian mutuals or anyone else who reads this really this is going to be my own personal interpretation and not anything you should take as solid fact or analysis LOL also preface im not going to talk ab the prose lancelot here cause i havent read it and i feel weird talking about things i havent read LOL 

anyways i dont think that medieval works where kay gets humiliated or embarassed (which uh. is a lot of them lol) are really trying to say something about how they think kay is a bad person/awful character etc etc i think mostly he’s there for like. some form of comic relief? idk. i think he is certainly a punching bag character most of the time but in an affectionate way, while he does get pummeled a lot its not because the author is trying to condemn him for his actions because they view him as a bad person who needs to be punished its typically to be a. a foil for the mc (typically gawaine) so that their deeds look even greater in comparison (and even that isnt like..a constant imo like in the perilous graveyard kay is a foil to gawaine but its to rag on gawaines inaction and faults i digress) and b. said gag character. also kay has a lot of immunity in the texts lol, no matter what he does and how much he does suffer he does...always get out of it fine no matter what happens to him (see: him getting ragged on by arthur all the time esp in the dutch stuff but he never dies or is that severely harmed or anything even though he most probably should have) even on like..a grander arthurian ‘’canon’’ scale kay is almost always one of the characters to survive the strife of camlann and the fall of camelot so like. yeah. thisll make sense when i talk about lancelot and i will talk about him right now

anyways i think while lancelot is the hero of many romances and literature and who typically gets a more in depth look at his character than kay (but i also think kay one of the few arthurian characters with deeper characterization throughout multiple texts) i think that most of the time he is condemned by the authors even if he isnt said to be explicitly wrong in the text...like lancelot DOES commit many transgressions, far more serious transgressions than kay (while i do think that you are supposed to view knight of the cart as satiricalish/comical in genre awareness you know what i mean adultery is not the same as like cursing people out and then getting the shit beat out of you for doing that) and he DOES get ragged on by the authors for this even if he isnt ragged on in the text itself. like even chretien de troyes, the creator of lancelot (sidenote: do NOT debate me on who came up with lancelot it was de troyes it was him. this does not make lancelot not a valid arthurian character hes just a guy.) did not like him and while knight of the cart textually presents lancelot as a hero the author is condemning lancelot personally and metatextually in a way the author does not condemn kay 

and unlike kay, lancelot DOES suffer for these actions in the text, hes not immune in the same way kay is. in the post vulgate cycle and things based off it which i have actually read like le morte he cannot achieve the holy grail, him and guinevere’s affair (i will put this in big air quotes cause i actually have a lot of opinions on this but i will. keep them out sigh. anyways while i do think the authors of many medieval texts were not personally fond of lancelot i, phineas, am and i find his actions reasonable but this isnt phineasland so i digress) and his actions after the discovery of said affair ie killing all those people is what leads to the fall of camelot and the destruction of arthurs court. and lancelot is doomed to a life of mourning and repentance in the monastery, which i also think is a notable difference between him and kay in medieval texts: lancelot is typically forced to repent. kay is not. 

TLDR: while kay is typically ragged on and humiliated in medieval works more often, my opinion is that lancelot is condemned metatextually by the author and audience in a way kay is not. kay has a sort of immunity for his actions that lancelot (and to be fair, most of the characters in the story) do not. 

anyways to answer your note about the victorians cause imo they’re both two different things to talk about uhhh i really don’t get the vibe that the victorians disliked lancelot (im not really that deep into victorian stuff yet forgive me haha)! in fact, from what ive read and seen so far irt to art it seems to me like they actually were fond of him lol maybe even more than poor old chretien de troyes. (see: richard hovey, ea robinson, william morris all authors that seemed to write about lancelot often and really delved into and explored his character in depth, many times him as a sort of tragique hero)

 i think if the victorians had a conspiracy against any character it would be gawaine, he is very much reduced in importance imo and i think that DOES contribute to the wider western cultural perception of him nowadays ie that he isnt really that important/an archaic/minor character that only shows up in like. one text and we all know which text that is. 

to be fair i think the wider western cultural perception of lancelot is just like. medieval lit gawaine but blonde LOL anyways i dont want this to become a post about gawaine but yeah i think that from the victorian stuff ive read about lancelot they seemed to really get into him as a character and produce a lot of content for him (see, all the artworks he and gwen gets in comparison to other arthurian characters) so unless ive just been misinterpreting everything ive read wrong idk about most of them really disliking him, or even disliking him in the same way the medieval authors did. 

TDLR: i want to stan lancelot the same way that william morris stanned lancelot i want to depose him as the no. 1 lancelot fan 

anyways thank you for sending me this ask!!!! i got to think a little out of my gawaine box cause i usually dont focus on lancelot or kay and im glad i got to flesh out my feelings on their characters more cause of this 

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[dinolikes]

IMPOSTER- PART TWO

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character death

| prev. |

you sobbed into dabi's chest as hawks and ingeniumu covered thirteens body with a sheet, everyone looking over, some with tears, and some with just a blank look, like they were still processing it.

it was silent for a long time before ingeniumu cleared his throat and looked up, everyone seeing the ghost of tears in his eyes, "we have to call h-headquarters," his voice cracked but he stood tall, he would make a great captain one day, even with his pushover attitude.

you were crowded in the cafeteria, a computer resting on the table with headquarters on the line.

"im sorry to say this but you have an imposter."

you shook your head, you refused to believe it, how could these people, your FRIENDS, who you've lived with for a year, how could they be imposters?

though you shouldnt be surprised, the league has been gaining members, rarely any ship didnt have at least ONE imposter, some even having as much as three, you just thought you guys were the exception.

"twice, hawks, you searched thirteens body correct?" a voice came through the screen.

"yes sir," hawks quietly muttered.

"was everything in place?"

"he didnt have the vent key."

the vent key, really easy to pass through, was originally made for people to quickly go from room to rooms, but after the rise of imposters who started using it to sneak up on people, only one person was allowed to use it per day.

the voice cursed, "very well." a sigh could be heard, "well you know the drill," you did, you just didnt like it, "if you suspect someone, send them out and let them die," you gulped.

you didnt know if you could do that, even knowing that someone here murdered thirteen, you learned to care for each of them, even weirdo itchy snatch tomura. you didnt know if you could just send them into space to suffocate. even the thought made you sick.

"until then, we'll need you to finish your tasks fast, we'll have you home by the end of the day, which means the imposter will probably try to kill faster today. watch out." with that a beep was heard, signaling that you were disconnected.

a grim silence filled the room.

hawks finally spoke up, "which one of you assholes did it?"

dabi glared at the taller man, "fuck you dude, how do we know you didnt do it?"

hawks took a step closer, "bold accusations from someone who seems to hate everyone!"

"why would I kill one of the only people I actually like in this shithole?"

"because he had the vent key dumbass!"

"hey!" twice yelled.

hawks glowered at him, "oh yeah, how could we forget twice here? you found the body right? meaning you were the last one to see him? why DID you decide to check on him huh?"

"why would I come to you guys then?!"

"i dunno, to throw off suspicion maybe?"

you finally snapped "stop it!" everyone's heads shot towards you, "thirteen is dead," you choked out, "and I know thay we're all upset but we just have to finish today's tasks and then we're back home, okay?"

everyone stared, until deku started nodding, "y-yeah! just today's tasks left! then we'll go home and catch the imposter and we'll be fine!"

"what makes you so sure we'll catch him once we get home idiot?"

deku stared up confusingly at kaachan, "dont we have cameras?"

ingeniumu looked at his friend "obviously deku but whatre you getting at?"

"our cameras have memory sticks," shoto spoke up quietly, "when they're connected into one of headquarters machines, you can access all of what it caught,"

deku nodded rapidly, "exactly!"

your eyes lit up, "deku your a genius!" you grabbed his head and gave him a big smooch on the forehead, leaving him a red and stuttering mess.

dabi tsk'ed, "c'mere,' he grabbed you hand and pulled you towards him, wrapping you hands around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

you rolled your eyes playfully at his jealous nature.

"fine. we finish our task but if another person is found dead we're booting someone off." with that, hawks stormed off.

you tried not to go too harsh on him, you knew hawks looked up to thirteen, and beneath that cocky demeanor, he really was soft.

knowing that though, you couldnt help but feel some fear and resentment.

fear because you didnt think you could kill off one of your own and resentment because you knew hawks would make you do exactly that.

"we should have a plan," ingeniumu speaks up, "4 groups of two who continue on and do their tasks, and I think twice should be on security, just incase the imposter attacks again," everyone nods.

"i'll go with wonder," dabi states, already grabbing your hand,

"dont you think you'll get distracted with...other things?" tomura smirks, dabi clenching your hand in his.

"fuck. off."

"oo feisty~"

dabi glares, "yknow you dont really seem to care much that thirteens dead!"

tomura's eyes flash a dangerous color and he leans forward.

"the FUCK did you just say?"

"you heard me you fucking incel,"

"stop!" ingeniumu yells, "tomura is right, you guys do get quite distracted, wonder is with hawks, dabi your with shoto. ill go with tomura and that leaves deku and kaachan, with twice on security. let's go!"

dabi grumbles but goes with his brother as you lightly kiss him on the cheek and go with hawks.

you cant help but think about how amazing that kid is gonna be when hes older as a captain of his own ship.

you and hawks head off, both of you checking your list and stopping by rooms, the other waiting as they finish their task and repeating, until hawks sighed.

"how are you dating that asshole?"

you laugh, "hes not too bad once he likes you,"

"and what? he just doesn't like me?"

"exactly."

"what if he didnt like thirteen?" your smile drops instantly.

"hawks..."

"I'm just saying!"

"well STOP saying! I know dabi and he wouldnt betray me like that, so whatever accusations you have against MY boyfriend, I dont wanna here it," you scowl as you check your notebook, and started heading forward, "c'mon. I have to do wires in electrical."

hawks stayed quiet through the walk, as you stormed forward, wanting to get as much away from him as possible without ACTUALLY losing him. if you were being honest you were scared of going off alone.

as you walked in electrical you instantly went towards the wires, not noticing hawks standing in the doorway,

"wonder?"

"yes hawks?" you snap.

"I just saw someone vent." you pause and turn around.

"where and who?!"

"I dont know! I just saw the vent close when we walked in here and since Thirteen had the key before he died, that means that only the imposter can vent!"

"fuck! why would they vent though?!"

hawks paused. "maybe they killed someone again."

tears filled your eyes as you started searching the dark room, almost tripping over something, you only briefly looked up but you choked back a sob.

it was a foot.

"hawks!"

he came running towards you from behind the wall and saw the foot, gulping as he turned on the flashlight.

there say ingeniumu, with his throat slashed.

you couldnt hold back the cry that left your throat as hawks pulled you in for a hug, mostly to hide his own tears.

"what's going on in here?" you heard dabi's voice and you lifted you head to see him and shoto.

he looked mad but when hawks gestured with his flashlight towards the body, the brief flash letting both of the boys see, dabi understood.

"c'mere baby," he grabbed you quickly and held you tight as you sobbed into his chest, dabi looked up at his brother, "shoto can you call a meeting?" he asked softly. you assumed shoto nodded because there were no other words spoken.

there you all sat again, in cafeteria.

you were sniffling as dabi played with your hair, you holding shoto close as he leaned into you, still in shock of seeing his friend's lifeless corpse like that.

deku stood tall and didnt bother to hide the tears streaming down his face and even kaachan was caught sniffling a bit.

twice sat quietly in the corner, with his elbows on his knees.

hawks though, was red in the face from anger. and the victim of his anger was none other than tomura.

"you were teamed up with him fuckface!"

tomura simply shrugged, "I got bored and wanted to check on twice, see if he was alive,"

"well he is! but your partner fucking isnt!" hawks jammed his finger against the other mans chest, "and I think YOURE the cause!"

tomura raised his eyebrows, "I was with twice, right twice?" he did a 180 to stare hard at twice who looked up slightly and slowly nodded. that seemed to please tomura though as he turned back around, "see?"

"that doesnt mean shit! you were supposed to be with him!"

"but I wasnt."

"but you WERE! that's why the kid is dead!"

"I say we vote." shoto's voice was muffled by your neck and dabi's chest, where he was currently crammed in, but it was still intelligible.

you raise your head and wipe a few stray tears, "I think that's smart sho,"

you all nod and murmur in agreement.

"fine then. let's vote." hawks glares at tomura one last time, "who says skip?"

tomura, twice and shoto raise their hands.

"i dont think theres enough evidence." shoto explains and you nod, quietly telling him that theres nothing wrong with his belief.

hawks has a slight triumph look on his face, "who says that tomura is a fucking psychopath who likes to murder children!"

"murder a child. thirteen is practically twice my age" tomura corrects, "and besides I didn't do it."

hawks rolls his eyes, "whatever, everyone just vote."

you, dabi, hawks, deku and kaachan raise your hand, making you guys the winner.

"perfect." hawks drags tomura over to the ejecting room, usually used for heavier garbage that didnt fit in the disposal.

as you all surrounding the glass wall that separated you and tomura you cried a bit more.

sure you hated this dude but you still KNEW him!

"anything left to say sicko?" hawks glared at the smiling tomura.

"maybe you arent as much of a bird brain as I thought hawks. good job, you win," he does a slight bow like this was a performance before hawks pulls the lever, tomura's body flying out before hawks closed it again.

"he admitted to it." deku stated simply.

"yeah."

| next |

[gguksgalaxy]

Bulls Eye | JJK | Bottoms Up

A summer weekend isn’t complete without Jungkook coming to seek you out at your job at the beach club to bless you wish his smile. A smile that quickly fades to anger one night, when he catches your ex trying to get your attention.

›› Bottoms Up Masterlist ›› AU: Friends to Lovers ›› Genre: Smut / Fluff / Angst ›› Rating: 18+ (sexual content) ›› Pairing: JJK x Reader ›› Word Count: 9.4k Warning Include: Mild violence, swearing, minor injuries, alcohol, toxic past relationship, toxic ex, sex, fingering, cunnilingus, lots of smooching.

Jungkook: Okay but when do I finally get to meet u irl? [19:23]

You: You're legit going to see me like, tonight [19:25]

Jungkook: Meeting u when ur at work doesn't count :((( [19:34]

You: Jungkook, you see me every weekend, the entire summer [19:36]

You: How much more of me do you want to see? [19:36]

You: Nvm dont answer that [19:38]

Jungkook: Ur just scared imma beat ur ass in mario kart [19:38]

Jungkook: Ill let you win though if that means we can hang out :((  [19:40]

Jungkook: Hello? [19:45]

Jungkook: ARE YOU IGNORING ME? [19:59]

Jungkook: I am: H U R T [20:10]

You chuckle at your phone as you’re doing your make-up sitting at your vanity. Jungkook’s been like this for the short time that you’ve known him. It was a little under a year ago when he’d left his phone number on a napkin at your work. Normally you know better than to pick up random number from semi-drunk strangers but his smile had been too good to deny. That, and he had been more friendly than the normal party-goer.

From working at a beach club in the summer, you’re not unaccustomed to receiving numbers that you truly do not want.

When you met Jungkook, he was arguably a little bit tipsy, but he made no attempt at flirting with you as he dropped down onto the barstool in front of you.

You’d been dating someone, something you’d made very clear and it hadn’t mattered to him. You’d be lying to say you hadn’t been a little curious about him. He’d smiled, wide-eyes and wholeheartedly, and you might’ve been whipped ever since. So you’d taken his number under the pretence of sending him the dumb picture you’d taken of him. At his own request.

Here you are, nearly a year later and one boyfriend less. Jungkook has kept texting you but you’ve never really been sure about taking your relationship past your work. According to him, he became a regular just to see you. But it’s easier to not fall too deep in your crush as long as work is the only place you see him.

For him, it seemed to be more of a struggle. When the club closed for winter you truly had expected him to grow bored of you and stop texting. Especially because last year, you were still dating your ex. Also known as the demon who made you last autumn a living hell. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, is an angel. Or well, he might be a bit of a brat from time to time but you’ll take it in stride if you get to enjoy his presence a little more. His daily texts at least. 

It’s because of his sheer kindness and unabashed behaviour that your ever-growing crush developed past a small infatuation. You catch yourself smiling in the mirror just thinking about him. His sweet smile and soft lips. His sharp jawline and broad shoulders. His hands that — you really need to get your head out of the gutter.

That’s how you knew your crush had taken a … ‘bad turn’. When he’d sent you a Snapchat of his Starbucks drink and your first thought was; ‘I wonder what that hand would feel like on my body’. Or when he’d sent you a video of him working out — obviously as a joke — and all you could see what the bulging of his arm muscles.

Truly, you’re whipped for him and you’re afraid to admit it. His flirting has never passed the line of playful, it’s just there to tease you. Guys like Jungkook — caring, sweet, good-looking — don’t go for you. You’d rather keep your friendship with him, than take a risk and lose everything.

Your phone chimes again, not aiding you in your thoughts. It only makes your smile widen.

Jungkook: I will come whoop ur ass tonight if u don't text me back! [20:31]

You: Oh stop crying will you? I was getting ready [20:31]

Jungkook: Did u think about me? [20:31]

You: Jungkook, why in the lord would I be thinking bout you? [20:33]

Jungkook: Oh I dunno, cuz Im cute? cuz u love me? :(( [20:35]

You: Do I tho? [20:36]

Jungkook: D: [20:36]

You: See you in a few hours kook [20:36]

Jungkook: yiss [20:36]

The club is bustling, the air warm and humid as soon as people start to trickle in. The weather is calm, after a few rainstorms it’s good to feel the ocean breeze. It’ll be busy tonight, and you’re prepared for it.

It takes an hour or two for the club to be filled, music on blast and beer flowing like water. You’re behind the black wooden bar, dressed in a red off-shoulder blouse that hangs loosely around your frame. The dress code at work is jeans and anything red, so you invested in a pair of red sneakers just to match.

The dance floor is crowded, people moving, dancing as you mix drink after drink upon request. Cocktails are your specialisation, that is your corner of the bar. By the time your two hours in your hands are sticky with liquor.

As you’re washing your hands, you find yourself searching for that one familiar face. The fact that Jungkook is about as handsome as they come hasn’t helped you fall for him any less in the short time you let yourself. The second you stopped withholding yourself from thinking about him like that, you found yourself thinking about him like that — all of the time. To the point where you almost drunk dialled him, twice.

Truly, you hope to see him. A night at the club is not complete without Jungkook gracing you with his smile. You remember he said something about dying his hair recently, and you’re curious to see as to what he’s done.

A girl walks up to you with an order, and you’re amidst making her three cosmopolitans when Jungkook finally shows himself.

The glass almost drops out of your hand when you lay eyes on him. “Jungkook,” you stammer out.

He’s wearing a thin white t-shirt, neckline showing his collarbones that are covered in a faint sheen of sweat. The fabric clings to his chest a little, not leaving much to the imagination. He’s more muscular than you thought. You wonder if he —

“Hello, eyes up here,” he chuckles, smiling widely.

You blink at him, realising his hair is a few shades lighter than its usual black hue. It softens out his features, yet the side part reveals his forehead and makes him look more mature at the same time. The way in which he looks both sweet and sexy is odd — confusing is perhaps a better word.

“Hey,” you manage to blurt out, trying to focus on your work again. You pour the girl her drinks and garnish them with a piece of orange zest.

“Did you just get here?” you ask Jungkook.

He shakes his head. “No, I got here about an hour ago.”

“And you didn’t come say hi? I’m offended.”

He chuckles again, nose scrunching up. “Let me give you a hug as consolation?”

Your eyes widen at the request. It’s not that you haven’t hugged him before. He’s managed to ensnare you enough times when you were out collecting glasses. Though, this is the first time he’s so openly asked for it and your stomach jumps at the thought. For your own sanity, you want to protest but you find yourself unable to.

“Please? I haven’t seen you for eight months. Give a guy some love.” Jungkook cocks his head to the side, a gesture that makes his hair fall over his forehead. The light catches his eyes — you can’t say no to those eyes.

“Fine, fine,” you sigh with a roll of your eyes as you sling the towel over your shoulder.

Jungkook grins so widely you blush as he envelops you into a bone-crushing hug. He is warm, smelling like an odd mix of beer, sweat and a light perfume. Strangely, it works but you can’t help but wonder how nice he’d smell when he’s not in a club. The perfume you caught definitely matches him.

You can just withhold yourself from literally inhaling him as you rest your chin on his shoulder. His shirt is so thin that you can feel the dip of his spine as your hand grazes his back. Your stomach flutters again.

He lets go too soon, and you have to stop yourself from pouting. “The usual?” you ask.

“Yeah, Tae and Jimin are hanging out somewhere, so two beer too.” He looks over his shoulder to where he must assume his friends are. You don’t seem them, but you doubt they’d stray far. He usually comes with them, though he’s shown up alone too. Every Saturday in the summer like clockwork.

Jungkook always orders the same cocktail. You step back behind the bar as he watches you carefully. His eyes follow you as you move — you’re hyper-aware of it, but too afraid to look up and meet his gaze.

Bulls Eye is not a drink that’s order often, but you’ve started to associate it with Jungkook. As you pour the lemon juice into the shaker, you mix it with light beer, ginger ale, and some sugar. It’s stirred, not shaken. The drink is not your thing, but you’ve tried it on his recommendation. Sadly, anything with beer has a tendency to make your tastebuds cringe.

It’s poured over ice, cold in your hand at you pass it to him. “Here, not too heavy on the lemon juice.”

“You remember?”

“How could I not?”

Jungkook seems taken aback by your comment, silent for a few beats too long. He doesn’t shake out of his trance until you give him the two beers. “Thanks! The others must be wondering where I went. I’ll see you around!”

You smile at him, giving a short wave as he walks off with the drinks crammed in his hands. He turns back to look at you once before he disappears into the crowd. You hope he didn’t catch you staring.

Seeing him again — hugging him — has truly confirmed that you’re in over your head. Your heart is thrumming just from the sight of him. It’s been eight months and yet you swear he matured. The purposely odd-angled Snapchats truly didn’t do him justice.

You remember a few months ago when he’d started sharing his workouts with you. Apparently, he’d been held up by a shoulder injury, but now he was back on his regular regime. Also known as the regime where he spends most of his free time either working out of playing video games. Either of which you receive excessive clips of.

The thoughts make you chuckle. You’ve never been much of a gamer, but Jungkook's excitement about it has pushed you dangerously close to getting yourself a console. Who knows, maybe soon.

His offers to play Mario Kart with you are tempting. It’s the thought of what could happen that make you hesitate every time. The chance of this ending in shambles becomes more and more likely the deeper you fall for him. You’re not sure there even is a way out anymore.

“Hey, miss whipped!” your colleague calls out, waving a hand in front of your face.

“W-what?” You shake yourself.

She chuckles. “Legit, are you still not dating him?”

You frown. “Who? Jungkook? No, we’re not dating.”

“You’re willing to tell me that you two are out here looking at each other like you’re about to walk down the aisle and you’re not dating? Girl, get a grip, the boy’s all over you. Has been since the first time he saw you.” She’s washing out the dirty glasses, hands moving quickly.

You’re unsure of what to tell her. It’s the second year you’re working together but you wouldn’t really consider her a friend. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Wait.” She stops. “Don’t tell me you’re still dating that douche from last year? I know we’re not close but he was a dick and you need to get rid of him.”

“No, no. I broke up with him a few months ago.” You think back of your ex. Last summer when you’d taken this job he’d been displeased. But it’d worsened when he came to see you and decided that every guy who ordered from you was either flirting with you or out to take you from him. He’d always been a little possessive, but after summer he’d just crossed the line with you. Though, breaking up with him wasn’t as easy as you’d thought it’d be.

Despite him being possessive, you really thought you loved him. You didn’t want to lose him and it caused you to be stuck in an unhappy relationship for three months. Until you finally decided to cut him out — a messy breakup to be honest.

If it wasn’t for Jungkook showing you that you were so unhappy you’d still have been moping around.

“Well then,” your colleague says. “What are you waiting for? If I had a guy that hot smiling at me like I’m the sun his earth revolves around I would jump his bones any chance I got.”

“Nina!” you squeal.

“What?” she answers wide-eyed. “Oh please, you must’ve thought about it. Did you see his pecs?”

You blush furiously. “Okay! That’s enough lusting after my friend for tonight!” You push her towards the sink and get back to taking orders.

If she’d been wrong you doubt you’d be this flustered. But she’s not. You hate yourself for thinking about him like that. Jungkook’s a nice guy, he’s not out for more than a friendship. Surely he’d have said so if he was. Right?

You see Jungkook three more times that evening, each time a little more drunk and with a little bit of a wider smile. Though, when he comes to you for his fourth drink he asks for water. His t-shirt sticks to his skin and he giggles out something about needing some refreshment. You tell him to go for a swim in the sea. He replies with a wiggle of his eyebrows, asking you to join him. For skinny dipping.

You blush; your mistake. He sees right through you, eyes narrowing but no commentary following. Instead, he purposely brushes his hand against yours when you hand him his drinks — you now this because he lingers a tad too long. His gaze settles on you before he walks away and you want to blame it on the alcohol in his system but it feels like he knows.

Nina leans over to you. “Girl, your boy is giving you bedroom eyes. Are you really out here telling me he doesn’t want you?”

“Stop!” you shriek.

“Listen, it’s easy. You want him, he wants you. Nobody says you have to bed him, though I’d advise you to. He looks good.”

You roll your eyes at her again, walking into the back to get something to eat and take a breather. The night is warm, but the breeze that trickles in from the open back door is nice. You wish you could swim actually. It’s been a long time since you actually went to the ocean, even if you live so close. Life’s been busy.

When you walk into the club to collect empty glasses and bottles, you spot Jungkook. He’s with his friends, laughing and dancing without seemingly a care in the world. He doesn’t see you, but when he smiles particularly wide your own lips twitch.

You wonder whether being with Jungkook would be as bad of an idea as you thought. Being stuck in this crush for the rest of your friendship might be the end of you. He is too good to be true, yet he’s right here within reach and you’re letting him slip between your fingers.

Would kissing him be as good as you’ve imagined? Because you certainly have imagined it — his lips on yours, soft and maybe a little demanding, smiling into it even.

A hand wraps around your arm and you’re pulled around before you can truly register what happens. “Hey, babe.” You recognise the drawl of the pet name immediately. Your ex.

He smiles at you, fingers smoothing down your arm with a slight tilt of his head. His grin is glazed over with the effects of alcohol in his blood. He’s drunk, about to start something.

You take a tentative step back. “What do you want Hyunwoo?”

Instead of answering immediately, he moves closer with fingers trailing your waist. “I’m just wondering if you’ve had enough time to think? Did you realise you miss me yet?”

The scoff that slips past your lips is probably a mistake — the twist of his face shows his displeasure.

“Babe, don’t be like that. You said you needed space, didn’t I give you that?’

“No,” you spit. “That was months ago Hyunwoo. Before I broke up with you.”

He licks his lips and you hold your breath. Hyunwoo is mostly bark and, usually, no bite, but won’t hurt you but starting a scene is not past him. “People change their minds, don’t they?”

You push his hand off your hip. “Listen, you and I are done. I don’t want to be with you anymore, we don’t work. It’s better if you just leave me alone.” He’d better leave your sight soon. You’ve closed this chapter of your life and this just brings back bad memories you don’t need. Unwilling to grant him another second of your time you turn away to go back to the bar.

He grabs your hand again, pulling you against him. “Babe, come on.”

“Hyunwoo, let fucking go of me!”

Someone pushes him away from you, pulling you back.

“I think you need to back off,” Jungkook snarls suddenly from beside you. Hyunwoo reaches for you but Jungkook stops him with a shove. “I said back off man.” His voice is laced with anger and when you finally gather yourself enough to look up at him you’re surprised to see the furious look on his face.

Jungkook’s eyes are dark, brows set — it’s almost scary.

Your ex merely scoffs. “Who the fuck do you think you are, kid?”

“Someone who’ll treat her much better than you ever did. Now fuck off before I rearrange your teeth.”

The way Jungkook speaks is so out of character, you barely recognise him. Never have you heard him this angry over anything — it’s pure disgust coming out of his mouth. You suppose he’s never liked Hyunwoo, but you sure hope he can keep his hands to himself.

“Jungkook,” you try, touching his arm that’s coiled tight.

“I cared for her when no-one would and what?” Hyunwoo’s eyes run up and down Jungkook’s body. “She cheats on me with a highschooler.”

Jungkook scoffs. “You call isolating her from her friends, caring?” He steps towards Hyunwoo with a puffed-out chest. Your attempt to pull him back by his shirt only fails. “She didn’t cheat on you, have a little self-respect and leave her alone.”

“Self-respect? She’s the one going around fucking randoms.”

“That’s it,” Jungkook barks, shoving him back two steps. “You manipulative fuck, you have thre—“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Hyunwoo’s fist connects with his cheek.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim, but he doesn’t hear you. Instead, he retaliates before you can do anything. Jungkook hits him back and you flinch upon the impact. You’re nailed to your spot as you watch Jungkook’s fist collide with his face again, not even stumbling. Everything around you slows down, you try to pull at Jungkook’s shirt, call his name, but he keeps pushing Hyunwoo further back.

“Stop!” you yell. People around you take notice, and someone tries to pull you back as Hyunwoo tackles Jungkook to the ground. He hits him in the face again and you cry out.

Suddenly, two security guards rush in. They just manage to stop Hyunwoo from hitting Jungkook again. Jungkook scrambles up from the floor and wipes the blood from his mouth as the guards force Hyunwoo out of the club. He yells something you can’t hear over the thumping of your heart.

Jungkook pushes at the third guard that comes for him, swaying on his feet.

“Hey!” you splutter out. The man from security recognises you, stopping with a firm grip on Jungkook’s upper arm. “It’s alright, he was protecting me. I’ll take him outside.”

“Are you certain miss?” He gives Jungkook a sceptical look. One of Jungkook’s eyes is watering, and there’s a bit of blood running from his nose.

You nod. “Yeah, I’ll get him some ice and send him on his way.” Jungkook is rubbing a hand over his eye, and you shakily grab his elbow to stop him. You look around, hoping to find Jimin or Taehyung so they can take him home, but they’re nowhere to be found. “Let's go.” Your voice falters, laced with nerves as you try to steady your own legs.

Jungkook sets his jaw. You shove him forward but he won’t budge. “Go Jungkook, to the bar.” Your legs feel like lead, body heavy with what just happened. He grumbles something when he finally starts walking to the front. The fear of what could’ve happened to him won’t stop running circles through your mind.

You guide him behind the bar and Nina perks up at the sight of him. “What happened?!”

“He punched my ex in the face,” you scoff.

She shoots Jungkook an approving look. “Good riddance.”

“Listen,” you say, grabbing a glass full of ice. “I can’t find his friends so I’m taking him to mine. Will you guys be okay without me?”  Jungkook’s slumped against the bar behind you, still not having said a word.

Nina nods. “Yeah, you look pretty shaken up yourself. We’ll be fine. Do you need me to call a cab?”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I don’t live far.”

Jungkook huffs at you when you sit him down on a chair in the back. He really overstepped himself, and you want to be angry at him for making a scene at your work. But then again, he wasn’t the one who started throwing punches and the fact that he did it to protect you…you can’t just get mad. He could’ve gotten so much worse, you’re just glad he’s okay.

“Wait here.” You shuffle around the cabinets to find a washcloth and dump the ice in there, trying it up and giving it to him. “Here, for your cheek.”

He doesn’t take it, he just keeps rubbing his eye and blinking aggressively. “I think I’ve something in my eye.”

You sigh, slapping away at his hand from his face and tipping his head back into the light. “I think you just have a serious case of stupid.” Surprisingly, he lets you examine his eye, gently rubbing the skin under it. “It looks fine, just stop rubbing it.”

Jungkook blinks up at you. “Thanks.”

“Where are Jimin and Taehyung?”

He frowns, trying to think. “Uh…I think they were going out for food. I was going to join them after I said bye to you when I saw — what’s his name — talking to you.”

“Okay, well…I live one subway station away. I have a spare mattress, you can stay over for tonight. Come on.” You pull Jungkook up and he stumbles but manages to stop himself from completely falling over. He’s less drunk than you thought, probably just shaken up like you are. You’re not sure if he’s hurt past bruising, but at least his nose has stopped bleeding. At home, you’ll get to take a better look.

You exit through the back door, grabbing your coat and bag and pushing Jungkook towards the subway. He doesn’t say much, on his way there, just silently holds the ice against his face — it’s not going to last long in these temperatures.

You think back, the way that Hyunwoo went from nothing to full-on fist fighting within seconds. It flashes before your eye — Jungkook on the floor under him. Though he too had seemed pretty adamant on giving Hyunwoo a permanent facial.

Once you reach the station Jungkook grabs your hand, ice-cold and wet. You look up at him, his cheek red and a little swollen. “You okay?”

He looks at his feet. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay, let’s just go to my place.” When the train arrives you realise his nose is bleeding again, and motion for him to hold the washcloth up.

Jungkook looks defeated as he sits down next to you. It takes him two entire seconds to lean into your side and nod off. His hair smells nice like he washed it just before he went out. It’s soft, floral maybe even.

As you sit here next to him you realise his hand is still loosely encasing yours, laying in your lap. You never expected Jungkook to just protect you like that. The way Hyunwoo just attacked him, you just hope that he really doesn’t have anything aside from a future bruise. The thought of Jungkook getting hurt because of you is not something you think you can stomach. Even if your ex totally deserved it — maybe you should’ve seen it coming. After all, it had been Jungkook who’d shown you that you deserved better.

When he nuzzles his cheek into your shoulder you realise that better might be him after all. Jungkook has always offered you warmth, a shoulder to cry and lean on.

You gently shake him awake at your stop, and he blushes when he opens his eyes to see you so close. It’s endearing, and you find yourself no longer caring to hide your feelings. You brush the hair out of his face. “We’re here,” you whisper.

Jungkook stumbles after you, sleepily dragging himself up the stairs where he bumps into you again. He’s finally stopped rubbing his eye but it remains a little red. You push him ahead when he wavers and spot scuff marks and a cut on his elbow. It’s worse than he’s letting on.

“Kook, you’re bleeding.” You stop him, twisting his arm to look at it. It doesn’t look to deep and you sigh in relief. The way you’d pulled him has him close to you, almost nose to nose when you look up. “A-are you okay?”

He nods slightly, eyes skimming over your face.

“Okay, we’re almost there.”

Your stomach keeps twisting with the realisation that he got hurt because of you. If it hadn’t been for the guards…Jungkook he’s more than just a friend to you. Even if you never hung out, the steady presence in his life is so important to you. You don’t want to imagine it without him. He texts you almost every day if he can, and maybe it was a good place to start. You feel that you know him as you watch him slump against the wall of the elevator. He knows you. There was nothing physical before you fell.

Jungkook hesitates on your doorstep, looks inside the hall as if something is going to jump out at him.

“Get inside Kook.” You look at him over your shoulder. “I’m going to get a warm towel and some stuff to clean the cuts on your elbows and we—“

You’re muffled by Jungkook pulling you into a hug. Your heart jumps as your cheek is pressed against his chest while he holds you. The washcloth is cold against your back where he still holds it. He rests his chin on top of your head, holding you tight. His chest is warm, and you find yourself pressing even closer — you want to feel this forever. He holds you as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Tears sting the corners of your eyes as you wrap your arms around his waist. All the tension releasing itself it seems. “Kook.”

“I’m sorry, okay. I just — I saw him grabbing you and I saw how uncomfortable you were. All I could think of was protecting you and I should’ve stayed out of it. I only made it worse and I — I can’t imagine what you must think of me now. I got so angry, I didn’t know what I was saying.”

What you think of him? If only he knew.

He presses his nose into your hair, his next words muffled. “Please forgive me.”

Forgive him? That was never a question on your mind, you were never mad at him. Maybe a little upset, but it was nothing he’d need your forgiveness for. Not in your eyes. You’re more upset about him getting hurt than anything else.

“It’s alright. Just sit down so I can make sure you’re okay.”

He hums and affirmative into your hair and plops himself down on the chair after. You quickly return from the bathroom with a clean towel and some antiseptic. Jungkook sits slouched forward a little, it makes him seem smaller than he really is — cuter. There’s still some blood running from his nose and by the small stains on his fingers you know he’s been rubbing it.

“You’ve got to stop touching your nose,” you mumble. “You’re going to get blood all over the place.” You fill a glass with water for him to drink, and knock your knee against his as a gesture. He parts his legs so you can get a closer look at his face.

“Squeeze the bridge of your nose and lean forward.”

“Everyone always says backwards.”

“Forward, Jungkook. And give me your hand.” You grab his free hand and twist it up. This way you get a good look at whatever caught his arm. The cut shallow, mostly dried by now. “You know,” you drawl as you gently clean the wound. “You really shouldn’t do stupid shit like that.”

You clean away the blood from his arm and fingers. He’s shockingly pliable in your grip. “You could’ve really gotten hurt Jungkook.”

“I wouldn’t have let him,” he answers nasally, still leaning forward.

“I’m serious, Hyunwoo would’ve ripped you to shreds.” Jungkook’s other arm is less wounded, but you clean it anyway.

He winces a little when you twist his wrist to check the cut again. “Do I look like I’m going to let an asshole like him just talk to you like that?”

You remove his hand from his nose, tipping his head back to clean his face too. His hand is warm and you find yourself wishing you could hold it for longer. “Still, you can’t just do stuff like that because you care about me. You don’t have to prove it.”

Jungkook grabs your hand again, pulling it away from his face so roughly you gasp and drop the towel to the floor. “Care about you?” he snorts. “You think I did that because I just care about you?” A soft chuckle leaves his lips as he shakes his head. “I don’t know if I haven’t made it obvious enough but…I wake up and go to sleep thinking about you.”

You stare at him, standing between his legs in the light from your kitchen. Jungkook looks at you with so much determination you’re unable to move or even speak. Was that a confession? You purse your lips together.

He sighs deeply. “All I think about is wanting to wake up next to you and make you breakfast and you think I care about you. You’re a fool.”

A fool for him. “Kiss me,” you whisper.

He falters — stops with parted lips and a change of gaze that is so gentle you’re not sure if he heard you properly.

You shake your hand from his grip and place both on his shoulders, leaning in close enough to touch noses. He hiccups, tiny breath puffing out against your lips. You smile. “I said, kiss me fool.”

He needs to hear no more. His lips come up for yours like he’s coming up for air after a long time starved. Jungkook kisses with fervour, gently but with purpose and you sigh into him. You’ve thought about this for so long and it surpasses all your expectations. Your legs dare buckle at the first graze of his teeth against your bottom lip.

Jungkook catches you, manoeuvring you into his lap and taking advantage of your gasp to deepen the kiss. You moan, surprising even yourself, but the sound he lets out in return is worth it. His hands paw at your hips, sliding under your top to touch your skin after yearning for so long. Everywhere he touches, every little sound you make — it’s like it sets him free. He grows bolder with every move.

Every swipe of his tongue into your mouth is devilish, a stark contrast with his previous words. This beats all imagination. Jungkook is too good to be true. His kiss is a little inexperienced, a little experimental, but you take it in stride because he is so eager.

You want him. “Jungkook,” you moan into his mouth that is parted against yours. He pants heavily, hands played out over your back to keep you against him. You feel steadied by him — you need it when he ruts his hips up into yours without warning.

He’s not hard yet but God you’re already feeling the pleasure pool in your own stomach and you don’t want him to stop. You kiss him even deeper, tongue wet and warm and so good. “Fuck.”

Jungkook pulls at your hips and when you settle over his lap properly, you feel him. The jeans-on-jeans contact doesn’t do much for you but the sheer thought of having him underneath you is your undoing. He breaks the kiss to lather kisses down your neck. Open-mouthed and with a little tongue, your fists tighten into his shirt when he grazes his teeth over your pulse point.

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited for this,” he speaks into your skin. His nose is pressed against your neck, paused to take you in. As if time is going too fast.

You can’t blame him, you would stay like this forever if you could. It’s the burning between your legs that won’t let you. “Don’t stop.”

He laughs, a puff of warm air that fans out over your chest. When he looks up at you his eyes are darker, the stars in them dimmed to dusk. “Are you sure?”

“Jungkook,” you whine, grinding your hips over his. He stutters and you grin at the feeling of his hardening dick. “I’m already on the verge of soaking through my jeans — yes, I’m sure.”

Strangely, his cheeks flush at your commentary but it doesn’t faze him in the slightest. He kisses back up to your mouth, claiming it as his and kissing you with a little more ease. It’s as if he already learned from two minutes ago. He slows down, hands ghosting all the way down your mode to squeeze at your thighs.

You gyrate your hips, circling him until you’re certain he must be uncomfortable in those tight jeans. Yet, he seems more than satisfied just occupied with your mouth. You could kiss him for days, but you’re so frazzled by him you have to come up for air. Everything he does makes it hard for you to function, and he sniggers as you nuzzle along his jaw to kiss softly at his neck.

“You good?” he muses, fingers combing through your hair.

“Hmm, perfect.”

“Can I eat you out?”

You frown, looking up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Did you hear him right? Did he ask to eat you out — as if it is the most normal question in the world? As if he just asked you if you like pancakes. You do, and the thought of having his mouth on you…“If you want to.”

“If I want to,” he mocks. Without any warning, Jungkook hauls you up and you squeal when you tip over backwards. You cling to him, gripping at his back and making his shirt ride up. “If I want to, she asks me. I’ve been thinking about it for months — yes I want to.”

Jungkook deposits you on the kitchen table and you‘re not willing to let him go just yet. You seek out his mouth again, warm and comfortable and your kiss-swollen lips want nothing more than his for the rest of the night. Yet, you can already see the sun rising through the curtains behind him.

“I thought about it too.” Your words get muffled with the kiss but you know he hears you from the groan he lets out. A sound that vibrates in his chest — his chest which you feel rise and fall beneath your fingers. He is muscular, and your mouth waters at the thought of seeing him. “Take your shirt off first.”

He obeys, pulling the white material off with one hand. You marvel at him once he’s shirtless, fingers seeking out his skin and trailing down his abs. They’re defined in the best way, just enough for you to feel them move under your touch as his breath hitches. Jungkook really is gorgeous and you find yourself kissing down his chest.

“Hey, hey,” he chuckles again, stopping your fingers that had slipped down to the buttons of his jeans. “I’m eating you out first, so hands off and back on the table.”

You raise your eyebrows at his half-assed command, a snicker on the edge of your lips. “Oh?”

“I said,” he grins, coming nose-to-nose with you. “On your back.”

You stomach flutters but you listen as he parts your legs. The table is cold against your back and it’s not an unwelcome contrast against Jungkook’s hands sliding up your now spread thighs. He squeezes your flesh and you can’t help but thrust your hips up with a whine. “Kook.”

“Impatient are we? Lift your hips for me.” He pops the button of your jeans and slides them down as you lift. There’s a bit of a struggle shucking them off your legs but it brings some laughter when he finally manages. “Damn tight jeans.”

You huff, still on your back. “You’re one to speak, I can practically see your dick outlined from here.”

Jungkook brushes your shirt up a little to kiss right under your belly button — your stomach dips at the soft touch. “It’s fine right where it is. For now, I wanna know what you like.” He waits for your answer, ticking off the time with little kisses and nips around your hip-bones that make you whine in the back of your throat.

“I — I don’t know?”

He looks up with a frown. “He really sucked didn’t he?”

“Well technically, he didn’t… “ You bite your lips in shame.

Jungkook rolls his eyes at you. “You can guide me as I go then.” He resumes his kisses down your stomach, sucking the faintest bruises on top of your thigh. “I want to make you feel good.”

You nod, laying back and enjoying the feeling of just him. The brush of his fingers as he hooks his thumbs into your underwear, the press of his lips to your skin. It seems like he’s mapping you out, tracing your sweetest spots as he pulls off your panties. The cold skin hits you and you shiver.

The first brush of his lips is tantalising, you hold your breath. It’s not a feeling your unaccustomed too but that it’s him is enough to undo you at the first touch. He spreads your folds, a little hesitantly. The tremble in his fingers gives him away and you fight the urge to lean up and look at him. “Keep going.”

He hums, breath warm against your mound. You can feel him staring and it’s exposing, but you can’t close your legs with his shoulders spreading you apart. Jungkook kisses your clit and your muscles tense, again and again until he licks and you let out a soft cry. He has the nerve to smile against you. The pull of his lips is obvious against your core and you lick yours in anticipation.

For a bit, he keeps at it like that, gently licking your bud until you’re certain you're going to break your toes from curling. “I need more,” you whimper. He obliges, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and suckling. It’s tender but so so good and the little breathy moan he lets out when you tangle your fingers in his hair echoes through your core. You sigh, it’s heavenly. He’s patient, taking his time to learn you — unfold you — as you urge him on bit by bit.

His hair is silky smooth between your fingers and you pull lightly. “A little more to the — ah — left — yes!” you cry, head thudding against the wooden surface. You’re moving so much Jungkook has to slide your back up the table a little. His mouth picks up, figuring out what makes you scream and using just that against you. Your stomach is tingling and you’re moaning without shame now.

“Fingers?” he mumbles, looking up at you through his lashes. The sight of his head between your legs, lips shining, eyes dark — it’s too much.

“Yes, gently.”

He chuckles against you again, a little chiming sound as he circles your entrance with the tip of his finger. “Relax,” he whispers, other hand coming down to press your hips to the table. “I’ve got you.” When he slides in you feel every knuckle and you practically suck him in. You’re so wet it takes him little effort to wriggle in another finger. He starts up a slow pace, kidding your thigh in random intervals as he observes your reaction. You can feel his unwavering gaze on you. “Good?”

“Yeah, just — don’t stop.”

“More?”

“N - No. Ah.” You gasp when he curls his fingers up and deeper. He’s so attentive you’re certain he needs no more verbal affirmatives. Right now you’re putty in his hands, shaking and trembling for him. His fingers glide along your walls, rubbing until you clench him tightly. “Jungkook,” you moan.

He knows. He knows because he starts sucking on your clit again like no tomorrow and it’s enough to make you feel the edge of your orgasm. It builds with his movements, tight, languid, just right — you come hard and he edges you through it until you twitching in his grasp. He keeps his fingers inside of you until you finally open your eyes to look at him.

Then, he withdraws them and sucks them clean. His eyes are even darker if that was possible. You know he isn’t done with you yet.

Your chest heaves as you try to grasp reality again. Jungkook looks ravished, standing between your limp, parted legs with two fingers in his mouth. His hair is a mess, right side sticking up from where you’d gripped it so hard. You open your mouth to say something, but it dies on your tongue.

“Are you still with me?”

“Yeah,” you pant, running your fingers through your hair. “When you said you were gonna make me breakfast, this was not what I thought you meant."

Jungkook laughs, lips spreading into a gorgeous smile as he grabs your hands to pull you up. You come chest to chest, mouth to mouth. His tongue parts your lips and you keen at the taste of yourself in his mouth, arms winding around his neck. Your legs wrap around his waist, coarse material of his jeans rubbing against your sensitive centre. Jungkook’s chest is sticky with sweat already and the muscles in his back dance under your fingertips as you caress them.

He is so good, touching every inch of your body while he takes his time kissing you. There are groans dying in the back of his throat and you can feel the twitch in his hips when he brushes against you. Your hand snakes down his chest to his jeans, palming and drawing a curse from him. You trace the outlines of his cock and he caves, forehead falling to yours.

“God please tell me you have condoms because I’m not done with you yet.”

You don’t want him to be. You’re getting wet again just at the thought of having him inside of you. From what he’s shown — from what you can feel right now — he’s not going to disappoint. “In the bedroom.”

He lifts you up, legs around his waist and his hands on your bare ass. With a grunt, he squeezes, manoeuvring you to the bedroom with your guidance that is drowned out in a kiss. You yelp when he bumps you into the corner and he soothes it with a soft caress, laughter erupting from the both of you. He presses you against the wall and you notice the skin of his left cheek is warm. A hiss passes his lips when you grace it.

You pull away to look at him, brushing his hair away from his face. His cheek is swelling a little but the lustful look in his eyes is enough for you to continue. Kissing him, you lightly pull the hair at the nape of his neck. He likes it, you note.

Jungkook lowers you down to the best, carefully so as he lays himself over you. “Take off your top,” he whispers, sitting up on the bed to undo his own jeans. You slide the fabric off your body, discarding it haphazardly along with your bra. He sits and you sling your legs over his lap as you push him back into the covers.

“What — ah.” He sighs deeply as you start kissing down his chest, fingers grazing his nipples. Jungkook is so pliant, chest heaving underneath you as you crawl down his body. He’s straining against his boxers and you appraise his self-control. “Baby,” he drawls, fingers carding through your hair as your lips stop at the edge of his underwear.

You chuckle, teeth nipping at his skin before you draw his boxers down slowly. His cock slaps up against his stomach, the tip wet with precum that had stained his underwear. You curse at the sight of him, fingers coming up to wrap around the base.

He stops you before you can get your mouth on him, hand around your wrist. “Fuck I — I want to come inside of you. Another time.” His breathing is laboured and his flushed state somewhat cute as he looks at you between his legs.

Yet, you can’t argue with him, you do want him inside of you. Sooner rather than later. You crawl back over him to kiss him more, hips settling over his dick. So heavenly, that first skin on skin contact. Both of you moan, heads thrown back as you rub him up and down, wet with your juices now.

“Stop,” he whines. “I really, really want to fuck you.”

You let him flip you over, your back pressed into the mattress. Jungkook’s muscles stand outlined by the faint light in the room, twisting as he reaches for you. His skin is soft and warm and you want to feel it, everywhere.

“Condoms?” he asks again.

“Drawer.” You point and he reaches beside him to retrieve a packet and throw it onto the bed. It seems that neither he not you can get enough of kissing. The soft nudge of him against your thigh is a reminder of what’s about to come.

You’ve fantasised about this so often you should be ashamed. But what can you do when Jungkook looks like half a god, half an angel all the time. You want him to ravish you, to make you his, now.

He falters as you touch him between your legs, stroking him and fumbling to find the condom. “Here,” he grabs it and wastes no time ripping it open. You help him roll it on, eyes trained on the way he twitches at the feeling. He’s hot and heavy in your hand as you guide him down to your entrance. Jungkook has other ideas however, because he pulls your hand away from him to secure it above your head.

You whine when he nudges his tip against your folds but leaves it at that. “Jungkook!”

“I know, fuck, I know. I just — you know this is not just about sex right?” His eyes lighten, brow smoothing out as he searches your yes.

You trace the seam of his lips with a sigh. “I do, but you can tell me everything over breakfast. Actual breakfast. Right now, I really want your dick inside of me, please.”

He smiles, capturing your lips as he presses closer. You feel him collect your wetness, teasing your clit with the tip of his cock. The anticipation gets to you and you fingers slide over his back to pull him closer. His chest brushes yours when he gently kisses down your neck.

The first breach of him stings, and you tighten your legs around his waist. It’s been so long, but it’s so good and you moan at the stretch of him filling you up slowly. You hiss at the delicious burn — Jungkook hears it and withdraws so quickly you yelp. “Hey!” you splutter, pulling him back to you.

“Was I hurting you?” His eyes are wide with concern.

You snicker. “You’re not that big Jungkook, get a grip.”

He whines. “I’m serious!”

“Silly,” you grin, kissing his cheek. “It was good. It’s just been a while, go slow hmm?”

He nods, pushing back in hesitantly. His eyes won’t leave yours, making sure that you’re feeling good. And boy are you feeling good. The way he stretches you is so delicious you can barely keep your eyes open. When his hips are flush with yours he moans, fingers of one hand tightening around your waist. His bottom lip is drawn between his teeth, brow furrowed in concentration.

“You feel so good,” you whisper hotly.

His cheeks heat up and you can’t help but find it endearing. He’s balls deep inside of you and he still manages to be cute and you love it. It’s uncharacteristically him and —

“Oh,” you gasp when he withdraws a little and pushes back in.

He feels so good, the press of his hips against yours every time he bottoms out. Your nails press into his shoulders, keening at the smooth slide of him inside of you. Jungkook moans, a sweet little sound he tries to hold in.

You touch his face, making his eyes snap up at you again. “I want to hear you,” you say.

“Fuck.” He shifts his legs under you. With a new-found goal he lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and he all but folds you in half as he slides even deeper. “God, you’re so tight.” His voice strains as he starts up again, a steady in and out that has you building up fast.

Jungkook keeps thrusting, making sure you feel his hips on yours every time. A tiny little pause to feel himself fully inside of you and it makes him reach so deep your toes curl.

“Faster,” you moan.

He picks up his pace, groaning into your skin as he does. You try to meet his thrusts. His chest vibrates with his moans, they’re delicious and beautiful and you can’t get enough of it — enough of him. The way he draws out and pushes back in has you clenching him tightly, especially when he grazes that spot inside of you. He lurches forward at the feeling.

“There,” you moan, “right there.” He zeroes in, pulling out all the way and slamming back in with so much force you scream his name. Your mouth falls open as he leans up and starts a punishing pace. He’s relentless now what you like, fingers scrambling to get a touch of your chest. A tweak of your nipple, a squeeze of your breast — he gets it all the while you’re coming apart around him.

“Tell me,” he groans after a particularly hard thrust. “When was the last time you were fucked properly.”

You whine, shaking your head. “Haven’t  — ah — so long — you’re doing so good — don’t stop.” Your sentences are broken with every thrust of him inside of you. Your tipping closer to the edge, yet not close enough. It’s been months since you’ve had anything and this is almost too much, you’re paralysed with pleasure.

He laps up your neck, supporting himself on one hand. “Nobody? For that long? Fuck, that’s why you’re so tight.” His words are muffled against the hot skin of your throat as he bites down and soothes the sting with his tongue.

“All I wanted was you.”

He snickers, pace not faltering as he kisses you again. It’s hot and open-mouthed and sloppy as his tongue seeks out yours. You’re overwhelmed with him. He seems to get deeper with every thrust, every sound he makes sending a shiver down your spine.

“I’m close,” he groans. “You?”

You suck the pads of your pointer and middle finger into your mouth — his eyes darken upon the sight. All you need is the slick slide of your own fingers against your clit, quick circles to get you on that edge. “Wanna feel you come,” you whine. “Please.”

Jungkook doesn’t stop, he pushes your leg even closer to your chest and watches you rub yourself as his dick disappears inside of you over and over again. Your stomach is tightening, walls clenching him in tightly.

His hips stutter, falling back over you as he comes undone with a deep groan. The feeling of him twitching against your walls is enough to give you that last push. You shudder apart around him, clenching down hard with eyes rolling back into your head. It seems to last forever as he holds you, gently rolling his hips to ride out his peak with you.

You’re both panting, still entangled as you come down. His hair sticks to his forehead, sweat dripping down his neck and your fingers slip on his skin. You’re stuck to the sheets, looking up at his ravished form as you feel him soften inside of you.

A foreign feeling erupts in your chest as he kisses you softly, just once. A small peck that makes you want to giggle with the overflow of feelings.

Jungkook pulls out carefully, and you know that you’re going to be sore tomorrow. He soothes your skin, rubbing your thigh before letting it down from over his shoulder. It’s so sweet, the way he looks at you and asks you if you’re okay.

You laugh at him, startling him a little. “To be blunt with you. I’ve never came that hard from sex and I want to do it again.”

He scrunches up his nose but blushes regardless. “Again?”

“Again.” You confirm with a yawn.

Jungkook discards the condom, pulling the soiled sheet from under you as you point him towards a clean one in your dresser. He drapes it over the both of you as he settles down beside your still numb form. You can’t believe he made you come so hard that you’re still seeing stars now.

You snuggle into his side despite the warmth of the early morning. “Your cheek’s going to bruise.”

“Worth it,” he grins. “We should’ve done this much sooner. “

“I agree.” You kiss the cusp of his shoulders, drawing tiny little patterns on his chest where his heart beats quickly.

Jungkook shifts, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “So?”

“So?”

“What now?” He bites his lip.

You giggle as you realise his shyness. “Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

A small kiss is pressed to the tip of your nose. “Maybe,” he whispers. “If you want to.”

“Well…” You trail a finger down his stomach. “Maybe I do.”

“Maybe?”

You lean up, kissing him firmly, just once. “Definitely.”

© GguksGalaxy 2018-2020

Special thanks to: @lapysllazuly @jeonkookd @bubypjm @sunshineangelhobi 

Let me know if you guys liked it! <3

@mooniva @flowerymoonlight @lunyua @chimycthulhu @lilacdreams-00 @biblionerd @nininek12 @mrcleanheichou @pakovahayhuha @burgeoninggirl @faithsummers11 @angeltothecore @burntrain @ylevolretsnom01 @lachicayolo @cvbachacbitch @kxkth @d-noona @thethiathang Sorry to those who I couldn't tag <3

[anne-white-star]

Au Cheetah!third doctor x reader

Notes : y/n and the doctor go on a adventure to a planet together and the doctor catches the Cheetah virus along the way. read to find out what happends 

Please ignore any spelling mistakes thank you 😊

Im so sorry this is a big mess😅 but enjoy anyway

Warnings: implied sexual content please read at your own risk, its not really detailt but its there so you have been warned

Words : 3067

The doctor had decided to take y/n to a far away planet. He thought that y/n would enjoy it and she did the whole day they looked at old stuff and new stuff buildings, performances she even tried new foods she never had taste before.

"I want to show you one more thing" the doctor took y/n her hand and let the way. after 10 minuts of walking they both came to a big tree and there stood a stone bench against it, it over looked a big valey and the sun was begining to set.

"Its absolutly wonderfull" she looked in awe.

The doctor sat down on the stone bench and patted the side next to him "rest your legs we have been walking the whole day" he smiled.

Y/n sat down "i really enjoyed today, we should do this more often"

the doctor smiled back at her "you are right we really should do this more often"

Both of them looked at the sunset when "meow"

Y/n looked around when she looked next to her there sat a big black cat "oh hi there little one" she smiled, the cat walked up to her and started to rub against her leg (I don't know how the kitlings act im sorry if im wrong) "oh you want to sit with us" the cat meowed in respons. Y/n pated a place in between her and the doctor the cat jumped up on the bench and lay down inbetween them the doctor patted the cat his head without looking down on the animal but he kept his eyes on the horizon. after the sun had gone down y/n and the doctor went back to the TARDIS.

"I'll set the TARDIS back in flight to earth you get some sleep y/n we had a long day and you look tired".

"Alright i will see you in the morning doctor" she said while walking away.

The doctor walked around the console "that cat was mutch bigger than i had seen before on that planet but i have seen it before somewhere els but where?...." the doctor mumbled while pressing buttons and pulling levers.

The next morning they were back at unit y/n was still asleep but the doctor was up And about working on a experiment.

"Good morning doctor" y/n walked out the TARDIS.

"Good morning my dear did you sleep wel? "

"I slept fine i was exhousted yesterday so i fell asleep easy" she smiled while sipping her coffee/tea.

The doctor looked at her "y/n could you hand me that tube next to you"

Y/n did as she was asked and gave it to him, she looked him in the eyes "umm doctor i don't want to be rude but have you looked at yourself in the miror this morning?"

"No i haven't how so is something wrong with my hair?"

"No its not your hair"

"What is it then?"

"Its your eyes doctor they arn't blue they are yellow and they look like cat eyes" y/n handed him her pocket miror

"I see what you mean i have seen it before but i can't quite place it unfortanetly....."

"Do you think its bad?"

"Honestly my dear I have no idea"

*Time skip*

"Doctor?"

"Hmm yes?"

"Are you going with me to eat something? I bet the others are already bussy"

"No i stay here i have to find out whats wrong with my eyes"

"Alright do you want me to bring you anything?"

"Just coffee my dear"

"Alright i'll be back in a hour" y/n closed the door and walked away.

"Now i got to find that book" the doctor said mumbeling to himself while walking in to the TARDIS.

As y/n walked in to the cafetaria she saw jo already eating "hi jo"

"Oh hi y/n how was yesterday?

"It was nice i saw a lot of new stuff we went to a market and we had dinner"

"How Nice i bet the doctor is hanging out in his lab again" jo teased

"Yes he is but thats normal the only strange thing is that the doctor his eyes have changed"

"Oh really? How so?"

"Wel they arn't their usual color they are yellow and look like cat eyes"

"Oh wow thats really weird anything ells difrent than the eyes"

"Not that i have seen its just strange"

"Oh wel i bet its nothig y/n"

"I hope so"

"Tell me y/n Do you like him?"

"Who the doctor?...." *sigh* "is it So obvious?"

"Wel yes it is"

"I don't know jo yes i like him but i don't think he's intrested in me"

"Why would you say that? Have you never seen how he looks at you? And the adventure you two went on looked more like a date than an actual adventure"

"Now you say so"

"But you like him?"

"Yes yes i do" y/n smiled softly

When y/n was done with dinner and talking to jo she went by the office of the brigadier she knoked on the door "come in, ah miss y/l/n hows everything?"

"Everything is going alright im here to pick up my papers that need to be looked trough"

"Ah yes here they are" he placed the pile of papers in her hands "hows the doctor doing?"

"He's bussy tinkering around but something weird is going on"

"Oh do tell"

"Wel his eyes have changed they arn't blue they turned in to yellow cat eyes"

"Hmm i see would you mind keeping an eye on him?" (No Pun intended)

"Dont i always Do that?" She raised an eyebrow while grining

"Yes alright" the brigadier grined back

"Well i got to get back If got to bring him his coffee he asked for" she smiled softly.

"Doctor im back and i brought your coffee" y/n opened the door

"Ah wonderfull thank you dear" he smiled and took the cup from her hands

"Umm doctor your teeth" she handed him her pocket miror again

"Oh no"

"What oh no have you found out what it is yet?"

"Not yet i hope to find it out soon"

"Are you starting to turn in to a big cat?"

"A cat?.... but of course y/n you are a genious"

"What?"

"The cat we pet yesterday i think it had a virus with it"

"Do you know what kind of virus?"

"Im not sure i have seen it before but i can't quite place it where" he rubbed his chin and sat down on the desk

"But i pet that cat as wel so why am i not turning in to one" (I don't know if humans can catch the virus like i said i haven't seen the episode yet)

"I have no Idea dear"

"Oh wel i have to do my work and i got to keep an eye on you Mind if i sit here and sort trough the papers?"

"No not at all go on" the doctor stood up And walked to one of his other desks Y/n sat down on one of the lab tables and sorted trough everything.

About 2 hours later y/n was halfway trough sorting the papers. "Ugh i think i'll stop for today i can't concentrate anymore" y/n stood up "i think i'll call it a day im still tired from yesterday but first im going to take a hot bath"

when y/n left something happend in the doctor his head he went in to the TARDIS to his bedroom he started to gather a lot of blankets and cushions he placed them on the big canopy bed and closed three of the four canopy curtains to create a Nice nest for his future mate. When he was done the doctor went back to the lab and he forgot what he just did.

The next morning y/n woke up late round 10 o clock She changed in a dress and high brown boots because y/n wanted to be comfortable in her outfit for the day she walked to the kitchen to get food "what to to get hmm" she looked in the cupboard after y/n looked trough everything she decided to go with (favorite breakfast) after eating y/n went to read something in the library.

When y/n was done reading she went to the doctor's lab "morning sorry i was late i woke up around 10 and went reading something in the library"

"Thats fine my dear would you mind giving me those cables on the bench over there"

Y/n grabed the cables "here you go" she placed them in his hands "any new developments from the virus doctor?"

"Not yet dear but i know what it is"

"Oh do tell"

"Well its the cheetah virus you can catch it from the cheetah people or the kitlings" he showed a picture of a cheetah person

"But we never came acros people who looked like cheetah's.... wait you said kitlings they look like cats right?"

"Yes big black cats that have Sharp teeth..... but of course!!" The doctor stood up "i told you before that the big cat we pated could be responsible for carying a virus that cat was the kitling i catched it from him"

"Um just curious what kind of symptoms are there?"

"Wel my eyes and teeth..... and well"

"Well? Go on"

He sighed "y/n the thing is that it can bring some events with this and its not for everybody"

"What do you mean?"

"Well cheetah people have mating season round this time of the year"

"Oh.. um" y/n started to blush

The doctor cought and rubbed his neck "Anyway would you mind bringing me some coffee?"

"Oh yes of course" y/n turned to the door to fetch some

About 30 minuts later y/n came back with the coffee "here" she placed the coffee in front of him it was already late in the afternoon

"Thank you y/n" he was about to place the cup to his mouth but then he snifed the air "do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Y/n sat down at where she sat the day before to sort the papers picking up where she left everything to continue

"But don't you smell that then?"

"Doctor i can't smell anything besides dust, old paper and the smell of coffee" She said while not looking up

"It smells like..." he stood up And walked around while smelling the air and he came stand behind her "oh"

"What oh?"

"Its you" the doctor leaned his nose in crook of here neck while inhaling her scent

"D..doctor pl..please stop" she was schaking

"You are ovulating"

"Wh...What?!"

"I told you that we are in mating season round this time of the year and you will be the perfect mate" he wraped his arms around her and picked her up

"D..Doctor put me down p...please"

"No you are mine" his eyes had turned to even smaller slits than before,

Jo heared y/n yelling from the doctor his lab she bursed trough the door with a tranquilizer gun jo shot the doctor in the back of the neck

The doctor let go of y/n and wipped around "Jo what have you...." he stopped mid sentice and fell to the floor.

"Oh jo thank goodness" y/n stood up shaking

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah im fine"

"What was he doing?!"

"Thats the cheetah virus its taking over him"

"Oh goodness what was he trying to do?"

"He wanted to make me his mate"

"Against your wil?"

"Yeah... I thank you for coming in on time" y/n looked at the doctor "we can't leave him just lying on the floor i think its better we bring him to his bedroom come on" y/n grabed him by the legs and jo grabed him by the shoulders together they brought him to his bedroom.

"Umm y/n?"

"Yes what is it jo?"

"Look" y/n turned around and looked at the doctor his bed it was full with blankets and pillows all made in a round shape on the king sized canopy bed

"What the?, where did he get all of this??? Oh never mind lets lay him down" they placed him on the bed "come one jo we got to leave" y/n locked the door and walked away, jo followed her

"What Are we going to do now?"

"To the library to find a book with tips or how we can stop the proces"

About 30 minuts of searching they still din't find what they were looking For "dear old girl would you mind helping us out?" Y/n looked at the celing she waited for a moment thill she heared something fall

"I got it" said jo "oh look it fell exactly on the page where we were looking For"

"Good now we got to make it i know that there is a medical lab in the TARDIS", The TARDIS had rearanged the rooms so that it was right infront of the library "thanks girl" y/n patted the wall "now lets see"

About an hour later the medication was done "so now we have to give it to him" walking out the door they went back to the doctor his bedroom "when will he wake up?"

"Soon we can't wait long"

"I got to keep him up right" y/n sat behind him

"Alright" jo gave the medications to the doctor "he wil wake up About 15 minuts from now"

"I'll stay here you can go on your way again thank you for helping jo"

"Of course y/n be carefull"

About 15 minuts later the doctor did indeed wake up

"Ugh what happend?"

"Well we had to knock you out because Well lets just say stuff was almost about to happen"

"Did i hurt you? Im sorry if i did"

"Its alright doctor but we could't let that happen not without consent or with force"

"I know im sorry y/n" the doctor hide his face in his head

"Its alright" she hugged him "But Look doctor I know you are infected and to be honest with you i have dreamed about becoming all yours but not like that i want to take it Nice and slow and do it savely and not jump in anything to quick" y/n trailed off looking to the side "i really love you doctor and i hope you love me as wel"

"I love you to and Y/n i swear that if you din't want this i would lock myself up And not come out thill this was over" he rubbed his thumb over her cheek. y/n looked at him with big eyes and she leaned in to kiss him, the doctor returned the kiss

"So do you want this?"

"God yes" y/n said breathless

He kissed her again then he started to undress her taking her dress off first when it was on the floor he looked at her "you look absolutly beautyfull" y/n blushed and looked away, the doctor took her chin and softly forced her to look at him y/n looked him deep in the eyes enchanted by their still yellow color. He undressed her tossing everything to the floor and then he undressed him self doing the same with his clothes.

"Are you still sure you want this?"

"As long as it is safe"

"Look in the Nightstand drawer" Y/n looked in there and grabed a condom she gave it to him "i would never do anything against your will y/n I swear".

"I know that doctor" she wraped her arms around his neck

the doctor put the condom on "if it hurts please let me know" y/n nodded.

The next morning y/n woke up entangeled in the sheets and cushions still completly naked "hmm what happend?" And then she remembered what happend the night before, grabbing the blanket she wraped it around her the doctor wasn't next to her anymore. A few minuts later the doctor walked in dressed in a black dressing gown he had a tray in his hands it was full with breakfast.

"Good morning my dear" he kissed her fourhead and placed the tray on her lap

"Good morning"

"Did you sleep wel? " he asked while he nusseld her

"Yeah i did" she started to eat

"Are you cold?"

"Now you say so Yeah a bit"

The doctor stood up And walked to his closet and pulled out a silver satin dressing gown with fur around the sleeves and the end of the tie. He than walked back to her and placed it on her shoulders "here this should do it"

"Thank you" after y/n was done with her breakfast she placed the tray on the night stand, she layed back down the doctor did so as wel he cuddled up to her she was about to fall back asleep when

"Prrrrrr prrrr"

"Uh doctor are you purring?"

"Oh sorry"

"No its alright don't worry" she smiled softly while running her fingers trough his hair.

They both fell asleep knowing that this would pass and that the doctor will be back to normal in a few weeks.

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊

[webcricket]

Castiel Drabbles

Characters: EstablishedCastielXReader

Bat Out of Hell Lyric Prompt: #19 - “Your eyes are darker than sin and I’ve been watching them glow.”

Word Count: 1213

Requested by: @jenabean75​

Warning: Erotica/adult content, description of canon-consistent violence and gore. For a fallen angel, smiting demons is all kinds of arousing.

<<<   >>>

Sweat, smoke from a burst hot water pipe, and the swell of tears from a well-aimed left jab you failed to dodge sting your eyes as you jam the blade a bit deeper into the chest of the demon whose lifeless meat suit you straddle. The bruise throbs your cheekbone like a beast clawing its way bloody out of the sinus cavity below and you taste the trickle of a metallic tinge on your tongue.

You’re pretty sure the bone is shattered, which you consider more insult than injury seeing as Castiel can heal you if he ever finishes fighting the group of four that broke away to face the seraph.

Clearly they thought one demon alone could handle a mere human; a little laugh gurgles in your throat at the thought - you love proving people wrong.

The satisfied smile etching into the corner of your mouth shoots a sharp pain through your cheek. Although the hell bitch is most certainly dead and unable to atone any further for her crime, she’s to blame; you scream and shove the weapon so far through her ribcage you feel a crunch of spine and the wall of concrete floor on the other side. Standing, you plant a heel to her torso and twist your weapon free. 

Castiel’s gravelly grunts and the continued sounds of combat tell you perhaps they sent the more capable members of the crew to tackle the angel. You blink to clear the blear; peering into the haze toward the kerfuffle, you spy a set of radiant blues aglow with grace in the murk.

To the immediate left of that divine illumination, orange lightning and a glint of celestial metal flash; a mass of black thuds to the ground motionless. The shining blues wobble and brighten under a hard blow from behind; Castiel growls as he twirls around, his broad hand slaps to skin and the final demon falls to his knees and explodes in a blinding gleam of light.

Silence descends save for the hiss of the pipe.

“You good?” You call out into the abandoned building’s dim basement. Cas emerges from the fog, trench coat and chestnut hair rumpled, knot of his tie slackened, a spatter of crimson staining his lapels and starkly contrasted by the crisp white of his shirt, but otherwise looking no worse for the wear.

As usual, his concern directs itself outward. “You’re hurt.” The observation hastens his purposeful momentum and in two strides his hand settles on your waist to pull you in for closer inspection.

“This? It’s nothing,” you joke, attempted brevity rewarded by an involuntary spasm of pain; your lashes slam shut and a shiver of shock racks your frame - that’s what you get after riding the adrenaline rollercoaster of bravado.

“Let me.” Leaning down, he kisses the broken spot below your eye; healing heat pervades the flesh and his lips linger longer to skim your entire form for injury.

“Mmm, that’s much better, thanks.” Your nerves buzz in the wake of his search; sneaking your arms around the solid column of his vessel, you shudder beneath the heavenly frisk and exhale a sigh, the airy utterance burdened with the wish Sam and Dean weren’t on this particular run, too, because the things you’d like to do with the angel right now aren’t exactly activities appropriate in the brothers presence.

Castiel is generally a gentle lover; so gentle, methodical, and thorough there can be no doubt in your mind as to his devotion. But sometimes a girl wants to feel needed - wants an unpolished demonstration of love that’s desperate and dirty and devoid of decorum.

You know from past forays, nothing girds his angelic loins like fulfilling the soldierly purpose he was created for - wielding righteousness to smote the evils of the world. The opportunities of taking advantage of such situations, however, happen few and far between.

It occurs to you the Winchesters are at least two floors above if everything is unfolding according to plan. Surely Cas would have heard an urgent prayer or hundred if anything were amiss. Surely you can steal a few extra minutes delay without their noticing. You shimmy against his hips to test the waters; a low growl rumbles his lungs.

He grips you by the shoulders to still you and to get an angle of study on your features. “What are you doing?”

Just as you suspected, the pupils peering back into yours are lust blown.

“Angel, you know what I’m doing.” Shifting onto your tip toes, you loop your fingers into the band of his trousers and slide them frontward to tug at his belt buckle. Your lips brush his - a breathy kiss of desire - as you speak. “Your eyes are darker than sin and I’ve been watching them glow. You know what that does to me. What you do to me.”

He senses your arousal - a wet yearning pulsing your center - and no amount of God-given will could prevent his vessel’s outer response to the unfettered need of the celestial being within; but he doesn’t need his vessel’s sanction for release, and given the constraints of time and limited options of space, he skips the fumbling fingered formality of eliminating the barriers of fabric between you with a snap.

Mouth sealing your lips in demand of a dizzying kiss, grabbing at your ass, kneading handfuls of the soft flesh in his fists, he lifts your legs to wrap his waist and carries you backward to a wall. He drives home to your heart how much he needs you, wants you, and adores you thrust after thrust until, lost in pants of pleasure, you scream for mercy, limbs shaking then limp.

An afterglow of love smolders in the angel’s eyes as he smooths the sweat-matted hair from your forehead. The simmering sentiment of affection fades at perceiving the approaching footsteps of Sam and Dean. He quickly restores both your pleasure wrought wits and displaced clothing despite your moans protesting to the contrary.

“Cas? Y/N?” Sam shouts, swiping at the smoky air in front of him.

“You two okay?” Dean spies you first.

“We’re fine.” Cas keeps a palm pressed to the small of your back as you walk forward to join the brothers.

“Fine.” You agree, casting a commiserative grin at the seraph beside you.

“What the hell took you so long? Five demons ain’t exactly an army.” Dean huffs, gesturing at the assortment of crumpled bodies.

“We engaged in sexual intercourse after killing them.” Cas states, as bluntly honest as ever.

Dean’s grimace blooms instantaneous.

Half-mortified, half paralyzed by laughter, you twirl to hide your blush in Cas’ coat lapels.

Unsurprised, Sam simply shakes his head.

“What?” Gaze narrowed askance, Cas queries the elder Winchester.

Dean holds up a hand. “Nevermind. Just- never mind, the car’s out back.” He pivots to make an escape at a brisk bow-legged pace.

“Dean?” Cas’ palm slips from your spine as he trails after his friend. “Dean! Why did you ask if you didn’t want to know the answer?”

You’re left standing there with Sam, and when you meet each other’s chuckle-creased eyes, he shrugs, smiles, and shoots a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of their departure. “Shall we?”

Castiel tag list:  (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!)    @jeepangel  @sammiesamness  @willowing-love  @roxy-davenport  @blueicevalkyrie   @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11  @thesugargalaxy    @bluetina-blog  @dont-trust-humanity   @honeybeetrash  @bucky-thorin-winchester  @superwholockz   @tistai  @wordstothewisereaders  @gill-ons  @mrswhozeewhatsis  @marisayouass  @stone-met   @castiel-savvy18  @samualmortgrim  @trexrambling  @magnificent-mantle  @kdfrqqg  @xdifsx   @mandilion76  @rockfairy  @peaceloveancolor  @unicorntrooper  @anisolatedship  @itsilvermorny  @aditimukul  @kudosia  @goofynerd-67babylove  @uninspirationalsonglyrics  @gray-avidan  @mishascupcake   @mishapanicmeow   @praisecastielamen  @roseyhxnt  @jessikared97  @let-the-imaginationflow  @warriorqueen1991   @sebastianstanslefteyebrow   @hisnameisboobear  @kristendanwayne  @fuschiarulerinthebluebox  @coolpencilpie  @jenabean75  @luciathewinchestergirl  @morganas-pendragons  @heyitscam99  @fangirl-and-stuff  @selahbela  @realgreglestrade  @splendidcas  @pointlesscasey  @i-larb-spooderman  @thewhiterabbit42  @thelostverse  @castieliswatchingoverme  @beccollie18  @dragonett8  @dixie-chick  @jtownraindancer   @carowinsthings  @passionghost  @ladyofletters67 @futureparent  @gabbie7-11  @myfandomlife-blog  @dreamerkim   @shamelesslydean  @earthtokace  @neaeri  @justanormalangel  @lone-loba  @supernaturalymarvel  @lilrubixx  @wings-and-halo  @thehoneybeecastielfollows  @musiclovinchic93  @81mysteriouslyme  @the-bottom-of-the-abyss  @jaylarkson @pixiedusts  @spookysculderfiles  @laqueus-ludovicus  @missjenniferb @lexininja  @jessiekay2010   @skrratata  @rhiannonj79  @calicat79

[pinkykitten]

The time in Summervale: 1

Warning: none

Specifics: y/n=your name, oc, oc fic, comedy

People: athela (your mother), edward (your father), huxley (cook), ruthy (maid)

Words: 1,438

Summary: In the fictional land of Summervale, 1700, you, the Duchess are made into an arranged marriage.This is the dream of your parents but certainty not the dream of a longing inventor like yourself. You are taught to be a lady but who wants to be a  primp and proper lady when you can have fun and be yourself. You need to try to convince your parents this is not what you want or is it? How will it be seeing the Prince of Linwyn? Will you finally change your mind and side with your parents? 

Authors Note: this is something newwwwww. ive been wanting to do kinda my own thing for a while so this is not on any fandom this is a story i will be updating with chapters about my characters but in a x reader way if that makes sense so its still gonna use you and such just this is my own story. i got inspiration off of this story “the austrian suitor” by @headoverhiddles​, granted i dont know the character or the fandom i just read it cuz another blog reblogged it yet i rlly enjoyed it even tho it is smut and im not usually a smut reader just kinda skip that or whatever either way it was extremely well written and gave me such inspiration like wowowowowow. so i made this piece inspired by that and i hope you guys like it. this is just kinda an opening to the whole thing and to kinda see how it works out so there is not any romance in this but trust me there will be but like i said i want to see how this goes if yall like if u do pls tell me tell me what u think ur thoughts everything i worked rlly hard on this so pls share like reblog do what you gotta do it would me a lot to me. thnx guys <3

“Maybe this piece goes here,” you mumbled to yourself. An action you always did but it was something your mother hated. Sitting atop your bed you concentrated your efforts in inventing a mixer that did its job on its own. Call it a hobby or a dream but inventing was your world. You loved the satisfaction of creating something with your own two hands especially if it helped people. Unfortunately, your parents the Prince and Princess of Summervale did not approve. They called it very unladylike. Your mother, Athela, would scold you about getting messy and dirty and then throw you in the tub like a little child. Your father, Edward, was always forcing you to learn how to seam. His mother used to do it and he wanted to pass it down to you. Those things didn’t excite you, didn’t make you complete. Inventing was something you loved and was always thinking about. As you would look at an apple tree during your morning stroll you would wonder about what inventions would be good for peeling apples whilst your parents bored you with duties as a Duchess. 

“Almost done,” you screwed on the last screw to your creation. You had dirt under your nails and they were short and barely ever polished, only for special occasions. Your hair was almost every time how it was meant to be. None of those gels, ties, bows, again only for special occasions. Your mother, Athela, would buy you all these face creams, soaps, masks, but you were content with your scars and bumps, naming them every so often after royals, saying your “face was a castle and there should definitely be Queens and Kings roaming on it.” You were odd and different to others but to yourself you were this boring, normal, royal girl that everyone hated because you were granted everything you could ever want. Life was not that simple though. Sometimes when you have everything handed to you - all the money in the world - it still doesn’t fill up that hollow feeling inside or take away the sadness. It was something to help people cope but it was never the antidote. 

“Alright...finished. What do you think Karim?” You hastily got out of bed and sat on the floor presenting your mixer to your pug. One very lovely vacation you took with your family you had learn a bit of Arabic. It was a beautiful language and you had made many friends there. You named your dog Karim meaning generous. Karim was generous, he was the only one who would look at your inventions. “Do you think it will work?” You gave a toothy grin, excited. 

Karim grunted as he licked his nose, panting. 

“I knew you would like it,” patting his head you jump up ready to show not just your parents but also the cooks. You had a very good feeling about this one. Every time you made an invention you had hope that maybe your parents would change their minds about your future but every occurrence was the same. 

“Mother, father! Come look!” You yelled as you sprinted down the stairs not caring if your nightgown would get dirty sweeping across the floors of the castle. “Come quick!”

“What in the heavens is the matter my dear child?” Edward, your father, grumbled seeing you in such a hurry. 

“See, father, in the kitchen.”

“In the kitchen?”

You passed by your mother, she tried to catch you but you slipped from her grip. “Young Lady why are you not dressed and groomed properly? You look like a mess.”

“Doesn’t matter, mother in this moment time is of the essence!” You arrived at the kitchen and grabbed a blue glass bowl, plopping it with a loud clank on the counter top. 

“What are you doing y/n?” The cook asked. “You almost broke me bowl!” He was a plump older man, very short. His hair was salt and pepper and his face was as white as flour yet his cheeks were always red.

“Forgive me Huxley I just need to know. Need to see and dive deep into the unknown.” You opened up a recipe card that Huxley wrote down for your favorite cake. Vanilla cake, you were a simple girl. “Alright I need eggs and flour and oh yes milk! Almost forgot about the milk!” You were talking to yourself again as you ran around the kitchen like a mad woman. 

“Is this another one of your inventions?” Huxley crossed his arms knowing about your obsession. 

“Yes but my dear good old Huxley-”

“Old?” He lifted his brow. 

“No time to explain, I have a tingling within me. This one is going to be it, I know it. Mother and father will finally see and believe in me.” You poured all the ingredients in the bowl. Your parents walked in, perplexed. 

“Hello everyone. Today I show you something I have been working on the for the past week. I am very proud of myself but any who let me show you my newest invention-”

“Oh here we go again?” Athela rolled her eyes.

“The mixer!” You lifted it high in the air. “This mixer will not only mix greatly and fine it will mix to your acquired speed. Please watch.” You pulled the lever three times and then pushed the big button. The mixer turned on automatically with it squeaking from the gears. “As you can see the mixer is mixing all the ingredients together. No more of the hassle of blistered hands or tired arms, this does it for you! You can even look away and do other chores in the midst.” You turned around and your creation you thought so high about was creating smoke and making an odd sound. 

“Um y/n,” Edward said, “is it supposed to do that?”

“Huh,” you turned to it again and all of a sudden the mixer started to go faster in speed. “Oh no.” The mixer then flew high in the air and starting to spin around like a mini airplane. 

“Get down!” Huxley shouted and everyone in the room screamed in fear or bent down hiding under tables and items. 

“Its alright everyone! Just a little mistake!” You climbed onto the tables trying to fetch the item. “Blasted thing.” You jumped onto the counter and caught it making it stop. Until it started to mix again and it caught a piece of your hair. You screamed loud and tried running away but hit the bowl of cake mix making it hurl in the air on top of your head making you slip from the batter onto your back. The mixer finally stopped. You groaned knowing you were about to hear it from your parents. 

Athela stood up with a scowl on her face. “To your room. Now!”

You sat at your vanity disappointed with yourself. You had worked so hard on the mixer and had embarrassed yourself. Athela was standing next to you, glaring. Karim was laying in his bed munching on a treat and your maid Ruthy tended to your hair. 

“I cannot believe you chose to do this on a day like today. Of all days!” Your mother was furious. Her gloved hands were held into fists. “You were supposed to be ready!”

“I know. I’m sorry mother.” In the end you always apologized even though you really hadn’t meant it. You hated when your mother was right especially about inventing. You always wanted to prove her wrong but it ended in outright disappointment. 

“Look at this hair now.” Athela lifted the piece of hair that was wrapped around the mixer. “Can you save it Ruthy?”

Ruthy bit her lip as she heaved a sigh, “I’m sorry your Royal Highness it is very tangled I must cut it off.”

“Oh my! Are you sure?”

Ruthy nodded.

“Today of all days,” Athela repeated herself. “How will your future husband think of you now?”

“What?” You asked and then all was heard was a snip as Ruthy cut that one lock of hair.

“Make sure you take that disgusting batter out of her hair.” Athela pointed to your scalp.

“Mother what are you talking about?” You stood up throwing your precious now broken mixer onto your desk.

“My dear didn’t you not fall just mere minutes ago in that vanilla goop?”

“Thats not what I meant and you know it. I am asking about what you said about a future husband. What did you mean by that?”

Athela rubbed your shoulders up and down and broke into a huge smile. “My dear you are getting married!”

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​, @reginalinettis​​​

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[absolutiions]

´   ･   .   ✶   ⧼    madchen   amick,   non   binary,   she   &   they   /   fucked   my   way   to   the   top   by   lana   del   rey   +   eyes   the   color   crimson   and   hands   stained   in   crimson,   too.   victim   of   the   underworld,   you   are   not.   you   came,   not   to   sit   silent   at   his   side   as   dutiful   wives   do,   but   to   whisper   in   his   ear.   pouted   lips   smeared   ruby   stoke   the   flames   of   his   darkest   impulses   and   his   deepest   desires.   you   are   the   conqueror.   you   are   the   queen.   and   may   god   have   mercy   upon   anyone   who   underestimates   this   :   because   you   will   not.    ⧽   ━━   don’t   look   now,   but   that’s   ATHENODORA.   the   TWO   THOUSAND,   FIVE   HUNDRED   &   TWENTY   TWO  (   varying   physical   )   year   old   GIFTED   VAMPIRE   has   been   here   in   seattle   for   three   minutes,   and   is   considered   a   member   of   the   VOLTURI.   they’ve   always   been   MACHIAVELLIAN   &   INDOMITABLE,   but   i   guess   this   town   just   brings   out   the   worst   in people   ;   apparently,   they’ve   been   way   more  INSOUCIANT   &   SUPERCILIOUS   than   usual.   it   wouldn’t   surprise   me   if   they   knew   what   was   going   on.   click   HERE   to   check   out   her   stats.

they   told   you   that   you   were   a   nobody,      so   you   became   the   QUEEN.   (   now   everybody   knows   your   name   )

SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse

born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece. 

five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !

she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly. 

same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic. 

her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.

she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that. 

he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.

she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.

their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters. 

at first, he told her that it was fine. 

after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.

two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.

he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.

sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.

but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!

over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.

she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.

stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously. 

honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.

so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?

and then it goes to shit. as things do.

her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options. 

she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.

until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life. 

for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.

four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.

caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.

and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without. 

SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.

became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly 

didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs 

didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up

not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess

kind of throws a spanner in the works 

she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme

uses this time to harness her power and fuck

not always in that order

also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader

deserves to b the new aro

who needs powers?

not u, caius

go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-

( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )

she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end

she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU ! 

she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal 

we love to see it

anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here

seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review

but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace

obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess

lucky for her!

that’s all i got

hehe

SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.

athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.

she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed. 

over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.

like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives. 

[kissmemando]

It’s College

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings: none

Summary: y/n is moving into MIT and meets her dorm neighbor Peter

It was move in day at MIT, y/n pushed her cart of things to her dorm with her parents and siblings. She was undoubtedly nervous to finally meet her roomate, Paula from London. They had been emailing and texting over the summer and really clicked. As she approached her dorm room a boy from across the hall had stumbled over and dropped a box of miscellaneous objects. Instinctively, y/n stopped the cart to help the boy. She started to help pick up the dropped objects when something caught her eye.

“I’m more of a Han Solo type of girl, but Luke’s cool too,” y/n said as she handed the boy his things including a small Luke Skywalker figurine made for a keychain. She usually wasn’t this confident, but she felt the need to connect with him.

“Thanks, I’m uh Peter, Peter Parker. Luke isn’t too bad anyway, he’s a Jedi which is pretty sick.” Peter replied shaking her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Peter, I’m Y/n y/l. I gotta finish moving in but I’ll see you around, I’m just around the hall.” Y/n flashed a smile at him and he did the same causing her to blush a bit. She walked towards her family and began to help them unload her things. It looked like Paula hadn’t arrived yet so y/n got first pick on the beds. She chose the one by the window because it reminded her of home.

“We should go get lunch before we have to take the plane back home.” Y/n’s mom said. They walked out of y/n’s dorm into the hall and y/n took a quick glance at Peter’s dorm hoping to see if she could say bye. It was only about 1 in the afternoon and she was sure she’d see him when everyone at her dorm meet for their group meeting about rules and safety.

“So who was the boy you helped?” Her father asked as they headed back to her dorm building

“Uhhh Im not sure, I just met him, his name is Peter.” She answered swiping her family into the building. It was now about 3:30 and they had a flight at 9 pm but wanted to be there by 5pm because they are parents.

“We are just gonna go to your dorm and grab our things and come right out. Your dad has to give back the rental car and it’s gonna take us about an hour together to the airport.” Y/n’s mom told her so that she is prepared for their separation. Truth was that y/n had hardly been away from home. The longest she’d been away from home without her parents or siblings was probably a week for her engineering camp mentoring program. She was nervous, even though sometimes her family would drive her insane she loved them dearly.

“Yeah mom I know.” She said back her mom as she guided them back her dorm. As she unlocked the door she looked over once again to Peter’s dorm wanting him to come out and chat. She looked to the other side of the room and saw Paula’s things, but no paula.

“Alright y/n, walk us out.” Y/n grabbed her mother’s hand as she said this. It was time for her to grow up. they reached the front exit of the building and y/n hugged her siblings then her dad who told her she was meant to do great things and then her mom hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. Y/n loved her mom but they weren’t super close. She didn’t tell her mom everything they weren’t best friends but it felt like she was losing herself on this woman’s arms.

“Be good, don’t forget to call me, I love you and goodbye” goodbye stung her heart. Y/n didn’t like goodbyes they always felt terrible. Once out of her mom’s arms it felt like a piece of her heart was missing. Her mom was crying making her want to cry but she couldn’t, she didn’t want to.

“Bye I love you guys.” She said as they walked out on the verge of tears, really trying hard not the cry. Behind her, she heard a similar encounter.

“I’ll be fine Aunt May. Don’t cry cause then I’ll cry. Come on May.” She turned around and saw Peter with a softly crying woman on his shoulder. “May you dont live too far I could as come and visit and you can visit me.” Peter walked the woman to the door and they hugged goodbye, y/n stood waving bye to your family as they drove past, she could see the tears in her mom’s eyes.

“Goodbyes are so hard aren’t they.” Peter said as he stood next to her watching May get to her car.

“God, you’re telling me, it’s like torture especially with the people you love most.” He nodded his head in agreement.

“Y/n right,” she nodded her head yes, “you wanna walk back to our dorms together since they are right down the hall from another?”

“Yeah sure” they started to the elevator and got to know one another.

“So where are you from y/n?”

“I’m from y/h, born and raised. You?”

“Queens also born and raised.” Peter said and a proud smile appeared on his face. His hands were placed in the pocket of his blue jeans.

“Nice” the elevator doors opened and the two heard a girl laughing extremely loud from Y/n’s dorm. Y/n’s door was open and the two peered in to see a girl and guy on the ground laughing.

“Emilio? What are you doing in here?” Peter looked at the guy on the ground, who had light brown hair that looked orange in the sun. “Oh uh Emilio’s my roommate” Peter half whispered to y/n. She smelt his cologne off his neck when he spoke to her. It warmed her heart a bit making her forget that her family just left.

“I was just helping Paula with this box,” he pointed to a box on the ground knocked over and it’s contents on the ground. He stood up and helped Paula up as well.

“Well you must be y/n I presume, it’s nice to finally meet you, sorry about the mess.” Paula said and took out her had for to shake it. “ and you are?”

Peter took out his hand “ I’m Peter, Peter Parker, Emilio’s roomate.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Peter.”

“We better go” emilio said picking up the box and he and Peter left the room.

Later, at the group meeting you and Paula walked in together. She was tall, with mocha skin, and very pretty. She walked briskly to the meeting in the community room. The two were the first there and sat on a sofa that fit about three. Later people started to come in and soon enough Peter and Emilio showed up. Emilio sat in the arm rest of Paula’s side of the couch and Peter sat in a chair next to y/n. When he took his seat he smiled at her.

“Hello Emiliano,” Paula said in her English accent.

The RA began to drone on about rules of the dorms and Peter looked at y/n acting like he was sleeping. She giggled quietly and looked away trying to concentrate on the RA. What she didn’t see was Peter smile to himself. He liked her little giggle it was adorable. Y/n knew Peter Parker was gonna be trouble but she welcomed it.

After the RA, Hadrain, was droning on he told everyone to take the time to get to know those that lived in your building and after you may go to dinner. Instinctively y/n looked over at Peter.

“So Peter, I’m guessing you like Star Wars”

Peter rolled his eyes in a joking manner, “ yeah I guess I’m into it” he said sarcastically.

Y/n smiled at Peter and they two continued to chat, until Paula and Emilio forced them to go to dinner. As they walked Emilio and Paula were ahead arms were linked

“Did something happen that we missed with the two?” Peter ask, brows furrowed.

“ I have no idea but, it’s only the first day maybe this is just how they are, maybe it’s just like friendly.” Y/n said messing with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

The four had finally made it too the dining hall and finished eating.

“The food really wasn’t all that” y/n said, unimpressed.

“Well it is college cafeteria food.” Peter replied

“But rich people go here.” Peter smiles and nodded his head in agreement

“Alright well I’m right to hit the sack” said Emilio and he got up from the table. Y/n didn’t have much of a chance to look at him before but now she could see more of his features. His brown hair that looked red in the light and she noticed some freckles. His eyes were green and his face was pale but she wasn’t sure if she was white, maybe Hispanic or mixed.

Y/n felt good walking with her little group of friends, because she never thought she’d have any especially at such a competitive school. Once in front of her dorm room Emilio hugged Paula by and simply said bye to y/n. Y/n galanced over to Peter who was on his phone, texting his Aunt May. She figured he wasn’t going to say by and pulled out her keycard.

“Wait, I don’t get a goodbye y/n?” Peter looked up, he sounded half joking and half serious.

Y/n blushed, “well bye mr.parker I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye ms.y/n I hope you sleep well.”

—————————————————————————————————————

Author’s note

Hiii, I’m Indie! I hope you liked my first story I’ll probably be writing a part two soon depending if this is well received or not. Also if you have any suggestions or ideas please HMU! Thanks for reading ❤️

[jack-kellys]

thank u, next: finale part 1

hey everyone ;)

thank u, next is finally back and this thing I wrote is so long that it's TWO PARTS LONG!! isn't that EXCITING?? (it's only two parts because tumblr won't let it fit but it's fine)

all previous chapters are at the bottom of my masterlist—read for a refresher if ya need lmao it's been a while

here we go!

————

LAST TIME ON TU,N: al and race had their first date, al revealed some of his history, both boys admitted they loved each other (essentially), and race mentioned something about needing to stall....

words: 1527

warnings: cursing, death mention, cliffhanger?? :0

———

Five, Part One

“I think it’s ready.”

Race tilted his head to face his boyfriend as he said this, hands placed neatly over his stomach as he laid on the bed. Race’s quiet demeanor was misleading, as usual—a storm was roaring inside, a hurricane spinning and making his chest tighten in apprehension.

“What’s ready, Al?” Race asked.

Albert turned his head to the side as well, gazing at Race with a new light in his eyes. His smile was so wide and endearing that it nearly broke Race’s heart.

“The apartment, stupid,” Al scoffed. “We fixed it up, cleaned it, I got all the papers ready, my stuff’s all ready…” Al grinned. “I’m ready to move into it.”

And then Race’s heart did break.

Al looked so, so happy. Race knew that for Albert, getting his own place was a bigger milestone than it already would be for the average person. It meant something more than just a second floor apartment—it was a freedom Al had longed for since he was twelve, he'd said. A freedom that would rip whatever freedom Albert currently had away from him.

“You sure, baby?” Race whispered, trying not to let his voice break. “Everything’s done? There’s nothing left to prepare, nothing left to pack up?”

“Nope!” Al shook his head, eyes glinting as he leaned over to Race. “It’s done. Everything’s done. It’s gonna be mine, Antonio. All mine. Just like you.”

He pressed his lips hard onto Race’s, Race eagerly tangling his fingers into Albert’s red hair. Al’s hand was warm against his cheek, his thumb rubbing softly against him despite the intensity of the kiss. Race lost himself in Albert more than usual, hyper-focused on every detail—every freckle, every hair out of place, the feel of his hands on him, the taste of his lips and tongue, every small sound he made. Ironic how Al called him perfect, since the opposite was true.

After a while, Race was tracing his fingers over Albert’s stomach as the man rambled about how he wanted to set up the place, Race nodding every so often.

How Race’s heart shattered for him—this most undeserving man who had been nothing but endlessly interesting and funny and warm to him. Yes, Albert’s infatuation was mostly false, but Race could feel the deep friendly affection Albert harbored for him as well, one Race harbored right back. Only once before had Race let himself do that—in 1905, a boy named Sean Conlon walked into that same apartment door with a skeptical glance and narrowed eyes, and to Race’s dismay, they were friendly as well as intimate. It had broke him then, and it was breaking him now.

Through the rest of the week, it would continue to break him. Race helped Albert move into the place, not allowed to let Al get any suspicions as to why Race might have seemed gloomy. Moving in was tragically fun, the two of them laughing as they dropped boxes, picking up their contents and talking about nothing and everything. Race was surprised at his ability to keep the lump in his throat down enough to even talk to Al. Lucky, too—Albert was rather smart at figuring when something was wrong.

“I think that's everything,” Albert huffed, smiling and wiping his hands on his jeans. “I can't believe it.”

“Neither can I,” Race laughed, shaking his head. “Fast, huh?”

“Yeah, thank God. I thought that was gonna take so much longer. I'd assumed the worst,”

Al shrugged. Then he grinned, doing a small spin with his arms out in the center of the room. “But this is so great! It's all mine, and I'm responsible for it, and I make the rules—well, technically not, but still…”

Albert’s rambling faded away slightly as Race felt something in his chest. A sort of tug, like something was trying to get out of him

His heart stopped. That was so soon. Surely he had a little more time? An hour at least? He still had to tell him everything.

His change in demeanor must have been noticeable. Al was practically scanning him, analyzing anything that could be wrong.

“Babe, you oka—”

“I lied to you,” Race interrupted.

Albert went silent. His head was cocked slightly, that skeptical frown of his making Race’s heart skip a beat, that frown that meant Al wasn't just some pawn in Race’s wretched game.

“About what?” Albert asked slowly, eyes narrowed. A pang of guilt jabbed Race through the ribs as he remembered Al’s shitty past with relationships. This would be one for the books, Race supposed.

“About me. About who I—well, not about who I am. I lied about what I'm here for,” Race confessed.

“About why your mom left you here,” Al concluded. “What you're saying is that you ain't here to protect the people who buy this apartment, like you’d said to me.”

Race couldn't help but be slightly impressed. Albert’s expression remained rather neutral, his actual anger probably fighting with his infatuation with Race. Al was doing a good job at not letting either side win.

“No, I'm not here for that,” Race sighed. He had to get this over with. Maybe it'd hurt less that way. “When my family first moved to New York, my mom was at a loss as to where to go. Not many people just welcomed immigrants like that, y’know? And then we found this apartment. The landlord charmed my ma’s pants off—he was the first nice person to us in the city. But then he changed.

“He stopped caring about us. He didn't get anyone to fix anything when things were broken, no one cleaned anything. He took advantage of the people in this building, knowing no one could go anywhere else. He just took our money and kept the place in shambles. And so I died from the conditions—that part’s true.

“As I was dying—stay with me here, Albie, we don't have much time—my mother cursed me with haunting this apartment, and….making anyone who walks into the door with intentions to buy...instantly fall in love with me. It keeps me alive—the more people, the longer I get to live.”

Race hugged himself, willing the feeling in his chest to wait. Albert looked paralyzed, with fear or confusion or anger Race couldn't tell.

“So...so none of this was real? I-I don't...I don't love you right now?” Al questioned, eyebrows knit together.

“It's real to an extent,” Race explained, his heart cracking as Albert’s face dropped further. “I just...I gave you the initial infatuation, and then amplified the feelings you caught for me.”

“The feelings I caught?” Al scoffed. “Like you don't have them.” Then Albert froze. “You don't have ‘em, do you. You never did. That was just my stupid head telling me that you did, wasn't it.”

Race shook his head wildly. This was going worse than he thought it would. “No! No, Al, I promise you I do. I fell for you, I didn't mean to, but I—”

“Didn't mean to?” Albert seethed. If he was this worked up, time must really be up soon, Race noted sadly.

“It hurts less that way,” Race decided to admit. “I've been doing this for centuries now. My Ma wants revenge for eternity and I'm the pawn she needs to play it out.”

“This is fucked up,” Al said, tone decisive and expression stiff. “You're fucked up. Get the fuck outta my apartment, right now, you lying sonofa—”

“I’m afraid I can't do that,” Race said, the words coming out of him rather than him actually saying them. He was starting to feel a little distant, but he had to hold on. Just a little longer.

Albert’s eyes narrowed. “You're not physically attached to the place. Your words, not mine. Get out.”

“Can't leave this time,” Race shook his head solemnly.

“Then fuck you. I'll leave,” Albert bit out. Approaching the door, he scoffed, “if I didn't fuck a ghost, then you must be a goddamn demon, fucking prick.”

Race didn't say anything—couldn't, rather, as Al tried to open the door. He jiggled the knob a few times, then looked at Race.

“I didn't lock this,” Al stated. His eyes were wide. “Did you?”

“Not exactly,” Race murmured, looking at his feet. “I can't leave, which means you can't leave, either.”

“Race?” Albert breathed, back flush against the door as fear flashed in his eyes. “What are you saying.”

“I’m running out of time,” Race said instead. “I just...I need you to know that I've loved you. I'm in love with you, I swear on my mother’s soul I am. And I'm sorry you have to pay for it. I'm so, so sorry…” He felt tears slide down his cheeks.

“Race, for what?” Albert demanded. “What's- what’s going to happen?”

“I'm not part of what comes next, okay? I don't want this, I don't...want this…please…”

The tugging was too strong. He'd pushed it off for too long; he was out of time. Race felt his mind slip away from him, and then he was gone, torn away from Albert and leaving him to go through what was next alone.

———

haha what the fuck does THAT mean? read part two to find out!

TAG LIST

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[hysterialevi]

Abraham - A RDR2 Fanfic

Fanfic summary [NO SPOILERS]: Lyle Morgan and his eleven-year-old son have a conversation about Beatrice’s death, only for the boy to witness a second one.

Warning(s): Mild language

Author’s note: Bear with me if not everything in this story is correct. I’m not entirely sure where Arthur’s originally from (all I’ve heard is that he’s from somewhere in the north), so I just made something up lol. Also, this fic will only be one part. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

From Lyle’s POV

A FOREST SOMEWHERE IN MONTANA

SUMMER, 1874

Strollin’ through the tall, thick grass, I led my mount around the forest at a casual pace while my son sat on top, consumed by his journal as always. It was an hour or two before midday, and right now, there was a radiant blanket o’ sunshine bathing the entire forest, painting everything with a golden tint. It was beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day out here...but this feeling of annoyance just wouldn’t stop naggin’ me, and I knew exactly why.

I briefly glanced over my shoulder, peering at my son as he scribbled something down in the weathered pages of his journal.

A quick sigh escaped me.

I didn’t know who the hell Arthur got his interest in art from, or why Beatrice even bothered buying him that book, but that child just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from it. Every time I came across the boy, he was always scratchin’ down some fantasy world of his, or creating images of a utopia I ain’t ever seen. It was pointless.

He spent more time daydreamin’ in that book than he did playing outside, or hunting, or fishing -- hell, he didn’t even know how to read -- and yet, Beatrice seemed perfectly content with it.

Or at least...she did.

Beatrice weren’t around no more. She was killed by bandits a few months ago. Robbed. Left on the side o’ the road for the crows to feed on. But Arthur didn’t know that. Sheriff told him it was a wild animal that took her. A wolf, to be exact. And he believed him.

I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly feelin’ exhausted just thinking about it.

Had I done the right thing, not tellin’ Arthur the truth about his own mother’s death, I wondered? I figured the kid didn’t need to know the morbid details, or even the entire truth, but I still felt like a piece of shit for not revealing the full story -- especially considering that them bandits who killed Beatrice...killed her ‘cause of me.

I had stolen something from them. Somethin’ valuable. And before it fell into their dirty hands, that “something” apparently belonged to a rich plantation owner who really wanted it back. Ended up gettin’ one of the bandits hanged, and left them thirsty for revenge. But they didn’t have the strength to go after the plantation owner. So, they came after me instead.

They chased me for quite a while. They chased me across the mountains, across the swamps, across the goddamned snow...until finally, they came to their senses and realized there were much better, more convenient ways of hurtin’ me. And thus, their paths diverted to my wife and son.

Those bastards managed to corner her while she was ridin’ to town to do some shopping. Found her on some secluded road between here and the nearest settlement, and ensured she would never return. That was when Arthur went lookin’ for help to find his missing mother hours later, and the sheriff assured him a wolf had gotten to Beatrice.

Christ. I really was a terrible father, weren’t I? Not only did I pay more attention to a bottle o’ whiskey than my own wife, I had also neglected Arthur for years on end, and indirectly gotten his mother killed. And the boy was only eleven.

He had spent half of his life not knowing a damned thing about where his daddy was, or even what he did, only to lose the one parent he already had before he could find out.

Lord...there had to be some way to make this up to him.

I looked back at the boy, suddenly feeling an urge to say something -- anything -- to him.

“Arthur,” I called out, catching the kid’s attention as his head perked up from behind the journal’s pages, “put that damned book away for a moment, will you?”

The boy hurriedly marked his place in the journal with a pen and shut it closed, resting the object on the saddle’s surface as he hung his head low in shame.

“...Sorry, sir.” He murmured.

I shook my head, lettin’ out a concerned breath.

“You spend far too much time in that journal. It was a mistake to buy it.”

Arthur’s eyes wandered to the trees towering around us.

“I’m sorry, dad,” he apologized timidly. “But I like drawing.”

I scoffed. “Yeah? Well, I like Poker. But I ain’t got time to play it. Too busy worryin’ about survival, and keeping the both of us fed. You can’t always do what you want, Arthur. You gotta provide. Things like drawing, gambling...they’re frivolous. We got better things to worry about.”

The child quirked a brow. “Friv-uh-less...? What’s that mean?”

“It means we don’t need to do it,” I explained. “What we do need, however, is to eat. So put that journal away and keep an eye out for deer. You was the one who suggested we come out here in the first place.”

Arthur frowned in a discouraged manner. “Yes, sir.”

I gave him a stern nod. “Good boy. Now...you said you seen a big buck out here?”

The boy pointed ahead. “Yeah. It was by the river.”

I gave the reins a little tug, urging my horse to follow me. “Then that’s where we’ll start. C’mon, Boadicea.”

Continuing our little hunting trip, Arthur and I traveled deeper into the lively woods as creatures of all types scurried around us, rustling blades of grass and alerting the tiny insects that hovered above the plants.

There was a rather peaceful mood to the forest today -- a welcome change considerin’ how chaotic my life usually was -- and I had to admit: some part of me enjoyed being here with Arthur. I rarely ever got to see the boy because of my work as an outlaw, and when I did, he always seemed reluctant to leave the house. Whether that was because he was more of an indoors person, or simply ‘cause he weren’t eager to spend time with me -- I didn’t know. But it was good to be with him regardless.

Approaching the large river, I came to a temporary halt as I crouched down and examined the ground, carefully searchin’ for any tracks that could’ve possibly led us to the buck.

The area here appeared undisturbed -- save for the fish flopping in and out of the babbling water -- and as far as I could tell, there weren’t no deer running around this section of the forest. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe they were at a different part of the river.

I took a closer look at the grass, only to be torn away from my thoughts when Arthur raised a question.

“Dad?” He asked softly. “Can I...can I ask you something? About momma?”

I paused, thrown off-guard by the sudden change in tone.

“Momma?” I repeated, slowly turning towards the boy. “Why you wanna talk about her?”

Arthur’s expression sank with sorrow.

“It’s just...you knew her better than I did. Or longer, I guess. And I don’t remember her that good. ...Do you?”

I gazed at him in a puzzled manner, admittedly still a bit taken aback by the abrupt question.

“...Clear as day,” I replied, unwilling to sift through the painful memories. “But that don’t matter. She’s...she ain’t coming back, Arthur. No one does, once they die. Ain’t no point in lingerin’ in the past when it can only haunt you. All we can do is move on. You understand?”

Clearly a bit hurt by my response, Arthur dropped the subject and averted his eyes from me, peering over at a nearby gathering of flowers instead.

He slouched despondently. “...I understand.”

That wasn’t good enough for me. I took a step towards him.

“Look at me when you say that, Arthur,” I demanded. “It’s important you look people in the eye when you speak to them.”

The boy brought his line of sight back to me, his face veiled behind a very subtle layer of fear.

He straightened his back a bit. “I understand.”

I nodded in approval. “Good. Now...let’s get back to huntin’ this buck. You sure it was around the river?”

Arthur gazed around. “I saw it this morning when I was playing with Copper,” he confirmed. “It was drinkin’ water right here. That’s when I came to get you.”

I observed the dirt underneath me, squinting my eyes as I searched for clues. The grass in these parts was quite thick, so that made it even tougher to spot fur, or dung -- and I still didn’t see any deer tracks -- but it certainly looked like another animal had been around here.

I kneeled down, shuffling the grass outta the way with my hand.

“It looks like some wild horses might’ve passed through this area,” I examined. “But no sign of deer. Oh, well...the day is still young, and we have some time, so we’ll keep looking.” I gestured to a nearby bridge. “Let’s try over there.”

Grabbing my horse’s reins, I continued to guide it through the woods as Arthur scouted the area for me, his big blue eyes scanning the sharp horizon while the sun escalated in the sky. There was a certain determination in his temperament now, and the longer we carried on trying to locate this buck, the more my son seemed to be enjoying himself.

Perhaps there was hope for us, after all.

“...Dad?” The boy called again, making me flick my eyes to the side. “What if there are wolves out here?”

I encouraged him to stay calm. “Now, don’t you go worryin’ about that. If we see wolves out here, we’ll be fine. We’re armed, we’re fast, and we’re smart.”

Arthur wasn’t convinced. “...Momma was smart.”

I sighed in a melancholic tone at that. “Yes...she was. But...Momma was killed by a different type of wolf.”

He tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “What d’you mean?”

I gestured to my rifle. “Not all wolves are the same, Arthur. Some use their teeth, some use their guns, and some use their tongue. You gotta be able to identify them when you see ‘em.”

The kid didn’t say it flat out, but I could tell he knew what I was really talkin’ about.

“Those sound more like people.” He replied. I let out a gentle chuckle.

“People can be worse than wolves, Arthur. In fact, I’d prefer a wolf over some o’ the people I’ve met.”

Arthur leaned forward in the saddle, his body swaying along with Boadicea’s steady speed.

“What kinda people have you met?”

I lowered my voice, thinking back to the bandits who killed Beatrice.

“Killers. Thieves. Deceivers. Men who will constantly betray each other even though they share the same motive: greed.”

I turned to Arthur with a remorseful look, hopin’ to do at least one right thing in my life, and use myself as a cautionary tale that money weren’t as clean as it seemed.

“...Greed,” I told him, “it breaks people, Arthur. They may not realize it, ‘cause greed can get you far in this world...but the reward ain’t worth it. Not compared to the things you have to sacrifice. In the end, you’ll have tons of cash, only to realize that there are luxuries not even millionaires can afford.”

His innocence took over. “Then why do they do it?”

That was a question I asked myself everyday. I shrugged in a disheartened fashion.

“Because they don’t care. So long as their pockets is heavy, and their bellies is full, they’ll keep on going. But like I said, greed poisons you. It kills you. And you won’t even notice until you’re already sittin’ in a grave. So promise me, Arthur, promise me that when you get to my age...you won’t become a wolf.”

Despite evidently bein’ a little confused, the child was able to make some sense of what I just said and agreed to the promise, reassuring me with a small smile.

“I promise.”

“Good boy,” I praised, bringing my mind back to the main reason we came out here. “Anyway, here’s the bridge. Why don’t you hop down and help me find this buck?”

“Okay.”

Sliding down the saddle, Arthur effortlessly climbed down and joined me, scurrying ‘round like a mouse while he searched for any signs of the buck. But so far, there was nothing in sight.

“See anything?” I checked. The boy shook his head.

I wiped some sweat off my brow, letting out a fatigued sigh. This animal was certainly proving to be a challenge to hunt down. We had already been in this forest for a couple hours now, and our efforts still hadn’t paid off. Part o’ me was almost starting to suspect if Arthur even saw a deer in the first place, and not some other kinda animal.

I decided to take a short break, and turned to ask the boy.

“You positive the buck was roamin’ around in these parts? Or that it was a buck at all? I haven’t seen any tracks so far.”

A soft rustle suddenly reached my ears, interrupting my conversation with Arthur as I reached for my gun, only to be stopped by a sound I didn’t expect.

It was a man’s voice.

“...Don’t even think about it,” the stranger warned, cocking his own gun. “I will shoot if necessary.”

Freezing at the intrusion, I remained perfectly still and didn’t utter a single word as a pair of footsteps steadily approached me from behind, followed by two more men coming in from the front on horseback.

They were all dressed in similar outfits donned with Nevada hats, and I couldn’t help but notice the star-shaped badges shimmerin’ blatantly on their chests.

Shit. These were lawmen. What the hell were they doin’ out here? I never expected the law to travel this far into the country. This was definitely odd.

What really puzzled me though, weren’t the fact that there were three lawmen just...waitin’ for us out here -- it was more the fact that Arthur didn’t seem phased by any of this in the slightest. Just what exactly was goin’ on?

Trotting closer to me, one of the mounted men glowered in my direction as he ordered his deputy to restrain me, his firm, steel eyes never wavering.

I recognized him instantly.

“...Sheriff Buchanan.” I muttered through gritted teeth.

He returned the greeting, scowling from under his hat’s rim.

“Lyle Morgan.”

I shrugged at him, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What is this shit? What’s the sheriff doing all the way out here?”

Buchanan glanced at Arthur, standing in front of him in a protective manner.

“I told you I’d use every option I had to get you behind bars, Morgan...and I meant it. You made the choice not to heed my warning.”

Taking a second to process what he just told me, the realization suddenly hit me like a bullet to the gut as I stared at Arthur with a sense of immense betrayal, unable to believe what was happening.

There never was no goddamned buck.

Things was never gonna work out for me and Arthur.

This was all a trap.

My own...son...had turned me in.

He was the bait, and Buchanan was the true hunter.

I clenched my jaw in rage, doing my absolute best to shield my emotions as the deputy kicked me to my knees.

“...A-Arthur...?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The boy looked me straight in the eye, standing adamantly beside Buchanan as his deputies tied me up. I threw a glare at the sheriff, damning him till my last moments.

“You bastard, Buchanan...!” I cursed. “You turned my own damned son against me...?!”

The man showed no guilt and tightened his grip on his rifle, silently advising me to stay back.

“No need,” Buchanan denied. “You drove him to me all by yourself.”

He placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s shoulder and guided him towards the second deputy, ordering them to bring him back to town.

“Clayton, bring the boy back to the office. We’ll figure out where to send him later. For now though, just keep him safe, and look after him.”

“Right away, Sheriff.”

Preparing both his horse and mine for departure, the deputy left Arthur next to the sheriff as the boy stood firmly in place, his innocent yet damaged gaze never leavin’ mine.

Despite the hint of remorse clouding the child’s eyes, it was pretty obvious Arthur felt he made the right decision in turning me in. And just as Buchanan’s second deputy started to drag me away, I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful Whitetail buck wanderin’ around in the distance, its majestic antlers standing out like a crown on a monarch’s head as it bathed in the golden sunlight.

The animal swayed its head in my direction, almost as if trying to communicate with me.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Arthur whispered as he walked towards Clayton, blocking the buck in the process. “...But you made me promise.”

Taking his leave, the boy finally mounted up and steadily trotted away from the scene, only to reveal an empty spot where the buck once stood as he left the forest.

Well...I may have found the buck like I planned, but it weren’t my job to kill it.

And it certainly weren’t my place to look for it.

I could hunt them down to my heart’s content, and kill ‘em all I wanted for my own desires...but in the end, they would always be able to afford the one luxury I’d never obtained.

Peace.

[turtle-steverogers]

You’re Literally Not Dying

it’s sad boy hours take some bad ralbert content im sorry idk where my usual writing vibes been

i actually wrote this for my gf cuz she wanted a sickfic cuz she’s sick rn rip her

warnings: nothing but race is a whiny bitch when he’s sick

ships: ralbert

editing: nope

Albert rubbed his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh as he tried to focus his gaze on his computer. He’d been at the library studying for his neuro exam for five hours already and his joints were well beyond stiff. His usually sharp focusing skills were shotty and as his stomach growled audibly, he began to wonder if maybe it was time for a break. He idly picked up his third coffee cup and groaned internally when he discovered that the bitter liquid was now cold. Maybe he’d go get a fresh one from the coffee shop downstairs, and while he was at it, he could pick up a sandwich or something. Yeah, that sounded good.

All his plans were quickly squashed when his music cut out and his phone began to buzz on the table next to him. He glanced at the caller ID and found his boyfriend, Race’s, face staring back at him.

Not bothering to keep the tiredness out of his voice, he picked up, resting his chin on his hand, “Hey, what’s up.”

He immediately straightened up when what sounded like a coughing fit blared through the speakers, “Race?” he asked, his tone alarmed, “You okay?”

“Al,” Race’s raspy voice came through the speaker, “I’m dying.”

Albert resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “I doubt you’re dying, Racer, but do you need me to pick up some medicine for you? What hurts?”

“Everything.”

This time, Albert did roll his eyes at his boyfriend’s dramatics, “Want soup?”

There was a pause, then, “French onion?”

“Baby, you hate French onion soup,” Albert reasoned.

“Yeah, but my stomach is begging for it,” Race said.

“Are you going to eat it?” Albert asked, “because I’m not going to buy it if you’re not going to eat it.”

“I promise I’ll eat it,” Race pleaded, “Pretty please?”

“Alright, I’ll get you some french onion soup. Anything else?”

“Um,” He could envision Race scrunching his nose on the other side- something he always did when he was in thought, “Some apple juice maybe?”

“French onion soup and apple juice. Got it,” Albert said, tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder as he began to pack up his things, “I’ll be back within the hour, keep drinking fluids.”

“Thanks Alcatraz,” Race said, “I love you.”

“I’m only letting the fact that you called me fucking ‘Alcatraz’ go because you’re sick,” Albert said, hoisting his bag onto his back and slipping his laptop under his arm, “I love you, too, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Kay, bye,” Race hung up and Albert pocketed his phone. He threw his many coffee cups into the trashcan on his way out of the library and made his way across the street to the campus convenient store.

He was able to find the apple juice easily and found several pre-packaged Panera soups not long after. At first it looked like they only offered broccoli cheddar and chicken noodle, but after some shifting around, he was able to find a singular cup of french onion. On his way to check out, he picked up some sudafed and theraflu for good measure, along with a couple disposable thermometers. The line to check out was annoyingly long, but within ten minutes, he was leaving the shop with a singular bag in hand. He put his hood up to combat the cold winds that had been blowing through campus in the past week and began his trek to the bus stop. The bus was already there when he approached and he jogged in order to make it on, briefly flashing his student card to the bus driver on his way to find a seat. The bus was abnormally crowded, but the journey to his apartment complex was fairly short, so Albert opted to stand. Upon arrival, the bus driver pulled up to the very front of the building, saving Albert from the prospect of having to walk through the snow that had begun to fall during the ride. He thanked the driver profusely and hurried inside, taking the elevator up to his and Race’s floor.

When he entered his apartment, it was obvious that something was off. All the lights were off and the shades were drawn. Race wasn’t at his usual place on the couch and it looked like he hadn’t gone to any of his classes considering his shoes were in the same position they had been when he left. Albert frowned, wracking his brain for any signs that Race had been sick that morning before he’d left. He had seemed fine, all things considered. But then again, Albert hadn’t really checked and Race had been half-asleep.

He kicked off his own shoes and shed his jacket, placing his backpack on a chair in the living room on his way to the kitchen, where he quickly heated up the soup and poured a tall glass of apple juice. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and crossed the hall to his and Race’s shared bedroom. He knocked lightly before entering and softened slightly when he took in his boyfriend, propped up on the pillows with his eyes closed.

“Hey,” he whispered and Race blinked open his eyes groggily, “I brought you the soup you wanted. How’re you feeling?”

Race reached out for the soup and Albert handed it to him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he did so. He placed a comforting hand on Race’s knee as he sipped the soup straight from the plastic cup, abandoning the spoon Albert had offered him.

“M’achey, and m’head hurts and my throat feels like someone took a fork to it and my tummy feels all weird and m’pretty sure I passed out earlier,” Race rambled, through a mouthful of onion, “But I’m fine, how are you?”

Albert hummed apologetically and motioned for Race to scoot over, then slipped under the blankets next to him. Race immediately curled into his side, “I’m sorry you got so sick, love.”

Race groaned, “Me too, it sucks. I wish I weren’t.”

“Here,” Albert said, opening a packet of the theraflu and handing Race a tablet, “Take one of these. That should help with some of the acheyness and the headache and throat ache and stuff.”

Race washed down the tablet with some apple juice, then fixed Albert with an apologetic look, “Hey, Al?”

Albert knew what was coming and bit back the urge to sigh, “You don’t want the soup, do you?”

Race shrugged sheepishly, “I do, but my tastebuds don’t.”

“That’s fine,” Albert said, taking the cup from him and putting it on the bedside table, “Finish your apple juice, though.”

Race wordlessly chugged the rest of the apple juice and handed the empty glass to Albert, who placed it next to the soup.

“M’tired,” Race declared, laying his head on Race’s chest.

“Wanna sleep?” Albert asked, subconsciously running a hand through Race’s curls. Race nodded and Albert pressed a kiss to his head.

“Alright, want me to stay?”

“I mean, yeah,” Race said, “We’re literally cuddling, would I kick you out?”

“Sometimes I don’t know with you,” Albert said, defensively, “But of course I’ll stay. Sleep now, we’ll take your temperature when you wake up. I love you.”

He could feel Race smiled against his shirt, “I love you, too.”

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

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